You've. Got. To. Be. Kidding.
It was Sunday. The first day of the week where I had an opportunity to sleep in. And this happens.
Why would someone be mowing the lawn at 6am?
The good thing about being slightly out of town, is that I have no close neighbours to disturb me. I often laugh at the stories my friends tell me about theirs. Other than dad and myself, it was pretty peaceful. Dad obviously knew to never do something like this, or he would suffer the consequences.
Xavier obviously didn't.
Xavier.
Holy shit.
I suddenly sat bolt upright. Last night...
My head pounded and my stomach had a sick feeling to it. Clutching at my head, a horrible sound left my lips. I did not feel great. And the roaring sound of the lawn mower was not helping.
Literally crawling from my bed into the bathroom, my knees met the cold tiles. I glanced down, realising I was still in my provocative playsuit. With my legs feeling wobbly, I used the sink basin to pull myself into standing position. My stomach lurched uncomfortably and I stumbled back, feeling nauseous.
I need a shower. Stat.
Turning the nozzle towards hot, I leaned my forehead against the cool glass. Last night, Xavier and I passionately made out against the wall of Thomas Herold's house. The house I thought I never would return to.
Where does this leave Xavier and I?
After realising that the room was now majority steam, I decided it was probably time to actually get in the shower. The warm water unwound my uptight muscles and I sighed, feeling better already.
My mind was stuck on repeat. I loved feeling his lips against mine. I loved the feel of his hands down my back. I loved everything that he did to me.
After making myself semi-presentable, I stomped down the stairs. As much as I appreciated Xavier mowing the lawn, because let's face it - I wasn't going to, he didn't have to do it at six in the morning. On a Sunday. Especially when I was still feeling the effects of last night.
Sweat glistened off his skin and I paused, momentarily having forgot what I came out for. The sun was out already and although it wasn't exactly warm, I guess if you were outside working, you would be.
I wanted to lick his skin and taste him.
I flinched, actually shocked at my own thoughts. What the hell was going on with me?
Staring at him further, I felt my thoughts gradually ebb away.
His jeans clung to him all-too-well and hung low on his hips. With my mouth visibly hanging open, I gaped at him. He looked really hot.
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
Snapping my mouth shut, I returned to my grouchy old self. Folding my arms across my chest, suddenly feeling exposed in my singlet. I felt tension accumulate between us.
"Yes."
"Sorry."
It was hard to make out what he was saying over the noise, but I got the gist of it.
Were things going to be awkward between us now? I had no idea how to deal with this situation. I'd never lived in the same house with the guy I randomly hooked up with at a party. What were we thinking!?
"Hey!" I yelled, successfully getting his attention.
With a sigh, he turned off the mower, knowing full well I wasn't happy. He offered me a dazzling smile, almost making my anger waver. Almost.
"Why the hell are you doing this at six in the morning?" I growled, wanting to shake my fists in anger, but thought better of it.
He shrugged, not seeing the big deal, his eyes lingering on mine just a little longer than necessary. "I'm busy today."
He usually did disappear of a Sunday and I honestly don't know where he goes. I frowned at him.
"Doing what?"
"Just stuff."
"Thanks for that vague response." I huffed, throwing my hands up. "Did you do this on purpose to wake me up?"
"Not everything is about you, Faithless," he snapped back and I flinched, surprised.
He'd never spoken to me like that. His gaze softened and he ran a hand through his messy hair, looking apologetic.
"Sorry, I just - sorry," he muttered, looking strained.
Was he regretting last night? What did this all mean?
My stomach tightened and I felt sick all over again. What if he wish last night never happened?
I'd never seen him look distressed before, either. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just have stuff to do today. I'll try and get it done earlier in the week next time so I don't wake you."
With a nod, I turned my back to him. What was going on? I wandered back inside and stopped, watching him through the window, feeling worse than I did before my shower.
I wonder why he suddenly felt the need to mow the lawn. It was probably in Xavier's rent agreement to maintain the property. I'd never asked.
Feeling a little guilty that I yelled at Xavier, I decided to make him breakfast. He did mow the lawn, after all.
Oh God. Was I that girl? We hooked up and now I want to make him breakfast?
Deciding to do it anyway, I began maneuvering around the kitchen, trying to keep myself distracted from my thoughts.
It wasn't much later when Xavier walked in, covered in sweat. His cheeks were red from exertion. He looked adorable. I mentally slapped myself.
"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked nosily, sliding a plate towards him, trying my hardest to keep everything casual. My fingers restlessly, drummed against the bench as I waited for his answer.
"I am not in the mood today if that's poisoned."
"It's not," I promised, sitting behind my own plate. I chomped down on my toast. With slight hesitance, he began eating the breakfast I made for him. Which was normal, might I add.
"What's up?" I asked, really wanting to know why he was acting weird. More specifically, needing to know if it's about last night.
He sighed. "Nothing."
"It's obviously not nothing." I snapped and bit my tongue. I really need to control my tone and how I speak to people. That had been a problem for me for a while now. I cleared my throat and tried to keep my face neutral.
"I don't want to talk about it. You wouldn't understand."
"Why don't you go talk to Jasmine," I muttered, completely unable to stop myself. I cringed. I sounded like a jealous girlfriend.
"What?"
"Hmm?" I asked, avoiding his gaze and taking a sip of my juice.
"Jasmine?" he echoed, narrowing his eyes. "Did you go through my phone?"
"It lit up the other night," I responded, finally meeting his eyes. "Are you guys a thing now?"
Would be awkward if they were, considering what we did last night. The memories from last night burned my mind, making my stomach do a slight flip flop.
I didn't even realise I was holding my breath. What would I do if he said yes?
"What's it to you?"
We death stared each other for several moments, before I could muster a sentence together. My mind was scrambling. Why was I so nervous?
"Nothing."
Suddenly, he smirked, knowing all-too-well why I wanted to know so badly. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment.
"Honestly? I helped her study."
I scoffed. "Yeah, right."
"Serious," he frowned, a slight wrinkle appearing on his forehead. "That's all. We were assigned to do a partner thing and she's not very good, no offense to her, so we met at the town library and went through it together."
That was not what I was expecting at all. I stared at him, slightly incredulous. "Really?"
"Really."
"Okay."
He grinned, taking a bite of his food. "Jealous much?"
"No!" the words flew out of my mouth way too fast and I wanted to face palm myself.
This was beyond humiliating.
I'd never been in a situation like this. I'd never liked someone that I lived with. I couldn't keep my guard up when he was with me all the time. I didn't want to admit that I liked him, but I did. Well, I think I do. I'm attracted to him, anyway. But I know it's more than the physical attraction. Lately, when we've been just hanging out... and last night, he said...
His grin only grow. "Mm-hmm!"
I scowled as he continued to eat. I downed the rest of my juice and placed it in the sink.
"So, last night," he said, a smirk on his face. "That was fun."
My cheeks were burning. I attempted to smirk back. "Yeah. It was."
He grinned.
Okay, cool. We both acknowledged what happened and he said it was fun. I have no idea what that means or where we go from now, but at least, he doesn't regret it. I don't think. I know I certainly don't.
"For real, what are you doing today? I want to know why you disappear every Sunday."
Cool change of topic, Faith.
"Nah, you don't," he said dismissively, going straight back to his annoying vague attitude he had before. The playful smirk that danced around his lips mere seconds ago vanished.
"Yes I do." I challenged back, steadily meeting his gaze.
He sighed, dropping his eyes, a sullen look appearing on his face. "It's not something I've shared with anyone before."
I quirked an eyebrow, my interest accelerating. Does he consider me someone worthy of confiding in?
"What is it?"
"Do you really want to know?" he asked, completely serious.
Did I want to?
His jade green eyes stared intently into mine. I titled my head to the side curiously. I'd never noticed how vivid they were.
"You're not creeping on little kids or something, are you?" I probably shouldn't have been sarcastic when was this serious.
His face didn't change and my stomach tightened.
"No, Faith."
His seriousness had me on edge. And he hadn't blinked in like a minute.
"I want to know."
"Okay." He rose to his feet, looking me dead in the eye. "But what you see today, can never be repeated to anyone, got it?"
Swallowing uneasily, I nodded.
"Where are we going?"
Turning to look back at me, he gave me a sad smile. "You'll see."
***
I'd never been inside a car with Xavier before. I glanced over to him, as he sat a little too casual in the passenger seat, staring out the window. I could tell something was bothering him. He just wasn't being his usual, cocky self and it honestly had me nervous.
Where were we going?
"Left," he said quietly, not even looking at the road.
Biting my lip, I followed his directions. We were heading out of town. I glanced down, seeing that I pretty much had a full tank of fuel, which was always comforting.
It had been nothing but silence. He seemed tense. Turning up the music, I settled back into my seat, realising that I was probably in for a bit of a drive.
"Sorry."
I had been getting a bit too into the music blaring that I hardly heard him. Using the buttons on my steering wheel to adjust the volume, I glanced over to him. "Hmm?"
"Sorry if I was rude this morning. This is just a bit... personal for me."
"That's okay."
"I'm not very good at talking about serious stuff," he mumbled, smoothing out the creases in his chinos.
He looked nice. He had a plain white T-shirt and dark green chinos on. It was tight fitting and showed off his defined figure well. The green contrasted nicely with his bright eyes and smooth, lightly-tanned complexion. He definitely scrubbed up nice.
"Me either."
"I want you to know I don't trust easily."
"I can see that," I said quietly. "Do you think I do?"
We met eyes, before I glanced back at the road.
"No. You don't." he sighed.
"Can you tell me where we're going now?" I asked, feeling the tension slowly leave my shoulders as we talked more. I hadn't realised how rigid I had been sitting, until my muscles started to ache in protest.
"Soon. Just keep going straight."
Silence fell again but this time it wasn't awkward. It was kind of nice, actually. After about twenty minutes, he spoke again.
"My mother died when I was seven. In a car accident."
I winced. I opened my mouth to reply, but he shook his head. Pressing my lips together, I focused on the road. I'm not sure why, but my heart rate began to increase. Was I finally going to know more about him?
"Never met my dad. He wanted nothing to do with us."
"Us?" I couldn't help myself.
"My brother and I," he said and my eyebrows rose. I didn't know he had a brother. "So my step father raised us."
"I know what it's like to have step parents."
Technically, I'd never had a real step-parent because my dad has never remarried. But I've had women come live with us. It's hard. They're different to you and they're not your actual parent. An immediate scowl twisted onto my lips at the thought of Nancy. Definitely didn't miss having her around.
"Probably not like mine," he muttered, staring out the window once more. I could see the veins prominently through his skin. His fists were clenched together as he spoke. "He wasn't a good guy."
Chewing at my lip, I stayed silent. My grip involuntarily gripped the steering wheel tighter. I didn't like the idea of him having a rough childhood. I didn't like the idea of anyone, having to go through that.
"I moved to my nan's place, when I was about fifteen, but I ended up having to move out."
I desperately wanted to ask more questions, but I bit my tongue. I should be grateful he was opening up at all. If the roles were reversed, I'm not sure I would be.
"I couch surfed for a while before I found your place." He cracked me a smile, finally looking at me. "It's the most stable place I've had in a while."
A small smile made its way onto my face. I'm glad. Even though I really didn't want him to live with me, when I first met him. I always take a while to warm up to new people, though, it wasn't just him.
"So, yeah. I still visit nan every Sunday so that's where we're going."
My mouth formed an 'O'. "Alright, cool."
I glanced at him and his mouth was in a flat line. He didn't reply.
"Is your grandfather there, too?"
"He passed away last year."
I nodded slowly. This was a lot to digest. It sounded like he had a pretty complicated life. I never thought about it much before. I didn't really question why he was a seventeen year old looking for a place to live. Most people I knew were still with their parents.
About half an hour later, we hit another town, which I hadn't been to much before. Following his directions, we stopped at a car park. Pulling to a stop, I glanced out the window, not knowing where we were at all.
With a reluctant sigh, he stepped outside the car. I followed suit.
It had begun to get cold now. Tightening my jacket around me, I jogged a little to fall in step with him. We walked a little until we got to a big building. Korrilyn Nursing Home. I felt my heart pang. His grandmother was in a nursing home? That must be why he had to move.
I wonder if she'd slowly become unable to care for herself, let alone a teenage boy. Or two? Where is his brother?
Questions upon questions piled in my mind until my head felt like it was going to explode. I didn't want to ask, in case I sounded like 20 question Pam (Alex's mother). She was annoying and I didn't want to be placed in that category.
As we got to the sliding glass door, Xavier rested his hand on the small of my back. He guided me through the door and I fought to keep the smile off my face. I liked that.
The retirement home had the usual, sanitised smell that hospitals usually have. I wrinkled my nose, feeling uncomfortable. I've never really been to a retirement home before. I only saw my grandparents at Christmas time. They were gallivanting around the country side in their motor home most of the year. I honestly couldn't tell you where they were. They're always on the move.
We headed over to the receptionist. She gave Xavier a friendly smiling. He scribbled down both mine and his names on the visitor log. Apparently, we were visiting Ivy. I watched his neat scribble, feeling more nervous as time went on.
I kept casting a glance at him the whole time we were walking and winding through the corridors. He didn't say a word. He had am emotionless expression on his face.
We passed one of the workers and he gave Xavier a sad smile, obviously recognising him. He just emerged from room 201. That's where Xavier stopped.
He just nodded at the guy, before pulling on the handle. Silently, I trailed after him.
A lady sat there, her curly, grey hair piled on top of her head. She was draped in a white dressing gown. She wasn't in the bed, but in a chair, located right near the window. She had a wireless playing quietly. Her room was pretty bare, except for a few photos. They mainly were her and her husband. Well, I imagine that's who it would be.
There was one of Xavier and another boy, his brother, most likely. Their backs were to the camera and they were standing near a river, their grandfather holding a fishing rod. I wonder what his brother is like? They looked identical from back on. Same height and width, almost.
I bumped into Xavier and I was surprised to feel he was rock solid. He was tense, again. Slowly, I wrapped my hands around his bicep, trying to let him know it was okay. Plenty of people have their grandparents in nursing homes.
"Hi, Gran," he choked out, his voice sounding hoarse.
I whipped my head towards him, surprised at the vulnerability in his tone. His eyes were watery and his cheeks tinged pink. Swallowing uneasily, I followed his gaze, forcing a polite smile on my face.
Slowly, she turned her head to us. Her gaze was soft, but something in her eyes weren't right. She looked... distant. Sudden realisation dawned on me and I felt this morning's unpleasant sickness hit me in full force.
"Sorry, who are you?"