As soon as I came from the high Shane gave me, the anger came flooding back. And the bastard had the audacity to smile. I don’t know how he did it, but he saw everything. Well, I guess if we’d live multiple lives, he’d know everything about me. I didn’t understand why he could remember, while I couldn’t. His smirk turned into a shit-eating grin, pulling at both corners of his mouth, and my stomach flip-flopped. My pussy still spasmed in the aftermath of my orgasm, but Shane dropped his forehead to mine and laughed. I pushed against his chest, but with a twist of the wrist; I moaned and jerked against him. His shirt was soaked, and I spat it out. It was warm and wet where it fell against my thigh.
Bastard.
“What’s so fucking funny?” I snapped. Quickly, I swiped at the drool on my chin. The two parts of me waged a war; the one that loved him and the one that resented him. One second I was gushing for him and the next I wanted to punch the ass. His shoulders shook as he pulled his fingers from me. He brought them to his lips, and all laughter came to a stop as he licked them clean.
Goddess.
How the hell am I supposed to be mad when he keeps doing shit like this?
Fucking alpha-hole.
Focus, dammit.
When he was finished sucking off his fingers, I huffed as I waited for his response.
“I never wanted this to happen, but now that you’ve been in my shoes, maybe you can understand me better.”
My brows kiss and I tilt my head as I glare up at him. Now that I’m in his shoes?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I hissed.
Shane, the innocent, shrugs his shoulders.
“I only mean… now that you can see things from my point of view… Now that you’ve gotten a taste of what I’ve had to live through… you can finally understand me and my actions towards you. Even if you can’t remember.”
He looked carefree as he said it, as if he hadn’t just shared a secret or revealed a truth. Even through my anger, I understood. Shane had admitted that I had done just as much to him as he had to me. No, that’s not right. He’d said a taste. I had done so much worse than what had occurred today. I didn’t know if that was true—couldn’t see how it could be possible. He’d brought someone into his home, into a space that was supposed to be mine. I might not remember what happened before this life, but I doubt I would be any different from who I am now. If he had looked for me in those lives as he had in this one, I would have chosen him—loved him. I wouldn’t have had space in my heart, my mind, or my life for anyone else. I can say that with certainty.
“You’re suggesting I would have hurt you the way I was hurt today, and I know for a fact I wouldn’t have done anything like that,” I snapped.
Shane laughed, but it sounded bitter.
“You don’t know anything.”
“I know myself! I wouldn’t,” I swore.
“I’m trying! You’re supposed to understand! I didn’t intend for this to happen, but now that it has, I’m glad. Call it karma, or whatever the fuck you want, but I don’t believe in that. Justice is never served. If you want something you take it. You’re supposed to understand why I hated his guts! Their guts! You’re supposed to understand why I can’t believe you. You’ve only chosen me once! And it was in a fucking dream. Damn the Goddess, you’re surrounded by more men in this life than in all the others combined!”
Shane’s eyes darkened, his body tensed, the way he angrily ran his fingers through his hair. He wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and yanked me so hard we were breast to chest. He was frustrated. I could tell in all those non-so-subtle ways he showed me. But so was I. I hit his chest, clawed at his shoulders, and when he wouldn’t let go, I had no choice but to glare at him.
“You’ve loved me in every life, but tell me, Shane. Have you been loyal to me in all of them? In any of them? Or did you take advantage of my memory loss? How many times have you fucked women in front of me when I had no idea why? Have you ever tried to stay by my side? Did you ever think of chasing me down and taking what’s yours? Did you even try to make me remember? Or did you fuck your way through your pack? Or were the hoards of women who threw themselves at you with their legs wide and their pussys dripping enough to console your so-called broken heart?” I spat.
Goddess, this was getting ugly again, but it was like word-vomit. I couldn’t stop it from bubbling up. My body was warm, wet, and ready for another round, but my mind was a tornado of thoughts and emotions. Shane’s hard cock twitched against my belly, but his eyes were alight with insanity. I loved this man, but oh, how I loathed him in this moment. His grip became punishing as he licked his lips.
“Yes, when they’ve come to me with their legs open, I’ve fucked them. When they got on their knees, I loosened my belt. When they’ve crawled into my bed, I’ve mounted them. But let’s get one thing straight. I have loved you in every life. Those women were nothing to me. Do you hear me? Nothing. They were a warm hole, a quick fuck to fill my lonely, pathetic excuse for a life without you in it. You were who I thought of every single time. Never have I ever given a piece of myself. I couldn’t. You’d claimed all of me in our first and you’ve never let go. I’ve chased you in every one of my lives. I’ve done it so many times, I think I’ve gone mad. I live every life just to be with you, just to see you, just to be under the same damned moon as you! You think I haven’t tried to make you remember? You think I haven’t tried to bring back the woman who loved me? You don’t think I look at you now and wonder if you’ll do the same thing you’ve always done?!”
My mouth fell open at his words. Our chests raced against the other, our hearts pumping as our eyes remain locked. There’s nothing but the sounds of our breaths filling the space between us.