Nick.
I wasn’t able to react immediately. I took a couple of hits before I came to my senses and docked and thwarted all her assaults. It took a while to convince her that maybe she was just late. I offered to get her a pregnancy kit just so she could be sure.
I waited days for her to tell me that the tests came back negative, as I was sure they would be. I was positive I never touched her. How could I? I spent most of the night staring at her, watching her sleep. I was in love with her. When I do make love to her, I want her to want it, too. I wanted her to remember me. I wanted to be different from the others she had been with.
I called her several times, but she was completely ignoring me. I was beginning to get worried. I realized, too, that since I backed out on my deal with her father, he would no doubt employ somebody else to charm her, woo her. Try to succeed where I failed. Well, I haven’t failed yet. In fact, I was only just starting. There were some things that I wanted to try. And if I play my cards right, she just might develop some feelings for me too. I was not aiming as high as making her fall in love with me. That may be too farfetched. Right now, I was only aiming for trust and attraction.
Step 1: Introduce myself. Check. Thanks to Jennifer Gracie.
Step 2: Get close to her. It wasn’t my fault the dim-witted Jennifer Gracie couldn’t take a clue that I wasn’t interested in her. She was hitting on me every chance she could get. And because of that, Mackenzie Clarke, the ever-protective best friend, had her eyes on me. Good. Because that was exactly where I wanted them to be.
Step 3: Earn her trust. Be her friend. When she begins to trust me, I guess I’m halfway in achieving my goal.
“Mr. Atkins,” a familiar voice said to me on the other line. I was at the diner having dinner, while trying Mackenzie’s number every once in a while. I didn’t want to sound desperate. But I do miss her. It had been days since I last spoke to her.
“What do you want?” I asked. I thought I was done with this man.
“Have you spoken to my daughter recently?”
It took me a while to answer. “No. Why would I talk to her?” I tried my best to sound indifferent.
“Well, I was hoping you had. I couldn’t contact her. She’s at home, I know, but no one is answering the landline and that usually never happens. I’m out of town and I couldn’t check up on her. I know my daughter. She may hate me all she wants, but when I call, she answers. That’s why there’s a reason for me to think maybe something’s not right.”
“Why are you telling me? Call the police. Or call your secretaries. I told you I’m out.” Then I hung up on him. But immediately, I stood up from my seat and rushed out of the diner without finishing my food.
I ran to my car and drove as fast as I could to her house. I kept dialing her phone. She wasn’t picking up. I stepped on the pedal. Since Margaret’s diner was out of the way, it took me more than half an hour to get through the traffic.
When I arrived in her neighborhood, I saw Mackenzie, half-naked, waving her hands frantically in front of me. I stepped on the brake and got out of the car. I caught her and placed her behind me. Then I went straight for her assailant and began hitting. I saw red! I could beat this guy to death. Luckily for him, he managed to free a hand and gave me a weak punch on the jaw. He pushed me off him. That was enough for him to escape.
I wanted to run after him. I wasn’t done yet. But then I remembered Mackenzie. She was sobbing on the side of the street, shaking in fear. I couldn’t leave her.
“Are you okay?” I asked. She couldn’t answer. I remembered that she was half-naked. I pulled the shirt off my back and gently put it over her head and on her. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” And I scooped her into my arms and carried her to my car.
When I learned that it was her own father that called on the hit, I wanted to hunt Robert Clarke down. I couldn’t believe he did this to her! When I backed out on the deal, he hired another person to finish my job! And that person was instructed to use force when necessary. What kind of a father does that?
I wasn’t getting her out of my sight. Only I could truly understand the lengths his father would go through to punish her for being different. I was smart enough to admit that I was in love with her, but I knew I wasn’t going anywhere with her. Right now, making sure she was safe, and that her father couldn’t touch her, were my main goals. I’ll think about my feelings later.
Luckily for me, her father left her in peace for the next couple of days. He didn’t try to contact her, order her to come home, or have her followed around. I have my eyes and ears open all the time. I had to make sure she couldn’t be haunted anymore.
Through me, her father wanted to break her heart. When I backed out, he resorted to breaking her spirit. Every night, I lay with her in my arms, trying to calm her tormented mind, chasing away the demons she was fighting off in her nightmares. My heart broke for her every single time. I wish I could be enough to make it all go away. I wish there was something more I could do to make her forget.
She was calmer, more peaceful when I slept beside her. I was happier, too. If this was the only way I could ever get close to her, then so be it. Sure, I was just a guy and my testosterone level would shoot up the roof when the woman I wanted with every fiber of my being was sleeping in my arms. But she needed me for comfort and protection right now. I would think about the possibility of Mackenzie needing me for pleasure, if she will ever need me for pleasure, later.
Over time I got what I wanted. I earned her trust. She was getting more and more comfortable with me. She would keep hitting me. Not painful at all. She had delicate bones. And I liked it when she hit me. It showed how comfortable she was with me. Yes, comfortable enough that she started making my kitchen her kitchen. And Mackenzie Clarke was a goddess in the kitchen. The minute I sampled her beef medallions, my favorite in the world, I said to myself, ‘My God, I’m going to marry this girl someday!’
She was it! My mother loved spending time in the kitchen. She wasn’t as talented in cooking as Mackenzie was, but I liked the fact that that she could cook, and loved to cook as a way of taking care of her family. I knew I’ll be a happy husband if I marry somebody who could cook like my mom, or even better than her. Not sure if that theory was true, but that was my belief. And maybe that was why marrying Margot never even crossed my mind. She couldn’t tell a paring knife and steak knife apart.
Mackenzie Clarke was everything I could ever dream of in a woman and more, a lot more. I would make her trust guys someday, not for her father’s sake, but for mine. Because I wasn’t going to let this girl go. I didn’t care if her father disinherited her. We’d be fine. I could support her, take care of her, and give her the life that she deserved. I may not be as rich as Robert Clarke but because of my wits, talent, and hard work, I was made. Mackenzie would have a comfortable life with me.
Once in a while, I would walk around the house shirtless, just to remind her that I’m still a guy who spent a lot of time in the gym to tone his muscles and achieve a six-pack. I was not sure what effect that had on her but I had to take my chances.
Sometimes, I would tease her. I would hold her hand, make her touch my abs or my muscles. I could see her face turn crimson. I loved seeing her blush. Because that gave me a clear indication that she was not as immune to me as she would like me to believe. I have an effect on her. No matter how small, I planned to use that to my advantage. That was why I called in the bet, ‘One hit, one kiss.’
Of course, ‘one hit, one kiss’ was like walking on thin ice. She could hate me for that forever. Or it could work to my advantage and I’d finally get to kiss her, the way I wanted to kiss her the moment I laid eyes on her. But ‘one hit, one kiss’ would only work if I made her feel that I was immune to her. Otherwise, she would see right through my plan. She’d know that I was devising this technique to make a move on her. And that was a deal-breaker.
So while I teased her with my muscles and abs, while I gently held her, touched her “innocently” in areas that border the erogenous zones farthest from her privates, I constantly reminded her that I knew she didn’t like men. She was my “bro” and I saw her only as one. She was not in my league and I was not in hers.
I could tell she was getting irritated by it. She even acted like a jealous girlfriend one time and—oh god—I thought I had hit home run that night. Until I went overboard and made her too jealous. I forgot that feeling angry and frustrated toward a guy was totally new to her. She wouldn’t recognize her feelings as jealousy. And if she did, there was no way she was going to admit it to herself. I wanted to hit myself with a sledgehammer that night when I went home alone. I got too greedy. I was getting there; I should have waited instead of trying to get there sooner.
So, I decided to tread lightly the next time around. I knew she was opening herself up to the possibility that maybe not all men are like her father. Maybe there was a guy worthy of her trust and her heart. Maybe that guy could be me.
My efforts were paying off. And soon, I got what I wanted: she finally hit me again.
When we finally started dating, I was in heaven. I couldn’t believe I pulled it off. It was a long shot, but everything was worth it. And I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to mess it up. Mackenzie Clarke was the love of my life; I wasn’t going to let her go.
It was going so well until she found out about my deal with her father.
I couldn’t begin to describe the hell I have been through the past few months since she left me. I was clueless about how to get her back. It was my fault.
First, it was my fault for even shaking Robert Clarke’s hand. Second, I should have told her sooner.
But Mackenzie was a dream. When I decided to pursue her for my own benefit, I wasn’t even sure I could make her fall for me. I never wanted to turn her into something she’s not. No, it wasn’t my intention to turn her into a princess. I loved her just the way she was. In fact, it was because she was so different that made her even more beautiful in my eyes.
Now that I had everything I wanted, I couldn’t afford to mess it up. I knew I should eventually come clean. When? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a big deal, but do I dare risk that? I couldn’t. Not yet. Not now.
I died the moment she walked out the door, and out of my life. It was painful. Excruciating did not even begin to describe the feeling. I stayed at home, I got wasted five nights in a row. I wasn’t taking any calls, but I kept calling her, hoping she would answer. I only got out of the house when Blaze came to find me. I wasn’t picking up their calls, so he knew something was up. He flew to the States and found me in a sorry state.
I broke Mackenzie’s trust. And I couldn’t blame her for walking away. I couldn’t blame her if she never wanted to speak to me again. But for the love of God, I would keep trying. I would not stop. I would try to woo her, court her, do whatever it took for her to forgive me and start over again.
I wrote her letters; none of them were answered. I sent her flowers and trinkets. I was at least thankful that she didn’t send them back. I promised her I would write to her each week, for the rest of my life. And I intended to keep that promise.
But months flew by, and I wasn’t even sure she was still reading my letters. I was afraid that she had moved on. When I heard about Robert Clarke’s death, I immediately rushed to Brett’s house. He told me that Mackenzie was gone. They had to send her away to keep her safe. I begged Brett to tell me where she was, but he said that for Mackenzie’s sake, I shouldn’t find her. Not until the smoke clears, until they know for sure who killed her dad.
“If you really love her, you will respect our decision to send her away from all this and keep her safe. There will be a time for the two of you. But please, Nick, not now,” Brett said to me the night I came to his house.
He promised to send Mackenzie all my letters. I still kept my promise. Each week, I had a letter delivered to Brett’s house so he could pass it to her. I could only wish that Brett would come back with something from her, too. But as long as he assured me that she was safe, I was okay.
I would wait for her for the rest of my life. If I could, I would run to her. I would protect her. And I knew I could. Better than anybody can.
If it were up to me, I would be making love to her every night for the rest of our lives. We would have kids, two boys, one girl. She would have her own restaurant in one of her hotels and she would be known as Mackenzie the chef and not Mackenzie Clarke, the owner of Clarke Hotels Inc.
I would wait for her to forgive me for what I did. After all, that was all I could do now. Wait for the forgiveness I asked for a million times. I wouldn’t force her or rush her. I believe in us. I believe that in the end, she will come back to me. So I would patiently wait for her.
If I could, I would wait for her forever.
I knew that if she could, she would come home to find me.
If we could, we would be making love each night for the rest of our lives.
If only love was enough, we’d be together in this lifetime and all our lifetimes after this.
If only…