The next evening, Alexandre is gone. He slipped a note under my door just to reiterate what he already told me.
“Mills, we’ve been together a long time and I’ve never asked you for much. End whatever it is you have with Jack. I foresee disaster if you don’t. I am your master, don’t force my hand. Just take care of it. I will be out of town for a few days, this will give you the time you need. I’m not a monster. With love, Alexandre.”
I’m stunned, how can I not be? The three of us have had numerous trysts, sometimes with each other. Why does he care now? Alexandre has never been clear about a great many things. I should have pressed him for more answers earlier in my immortality. Annie is nowhere to be found, so I shrug my shoulders, muttering what Alexandre can go do with himself. He may be my maker, but he is certainly not my master. If he thinks I am going to give up my chance with Jack, he can think again.
It’s hard to shake the weirdness of last night. After living together all this time, I can’t convince myself Alexandre wanted me, physically. Likely, it was as he said, he only wanted company. I have been his constant companion, after all. His feelings were hurt when I asked him to leave, then he lashed out, pure and simple.
After living peacefully with him for two hundred forty years, I can’t imagine it was anything more. Alexandre could be experiencing some sort of existential crisis, as all immortals do at some point. Instead of comforting him, I kicked him out. At this thought, I feel a little guilty. Alexandre has listened to me whine, complaining for centuries. Last night, all he received for his constant friendship was rejection
I’m about to reach out my mind and ask Alexandre for forgiveness when there is a sharp knock at the front door. More like a banging as if someone is hitting it with a battering ram. What in the world? Slipping on a robe, I dash down the stairs, throwing open the door.
James, the director of Jack’s film, stands half hunched over on the porch. He straightens a bit to look at me. He looks like he hasn’t shaved since I saw him at the cocktail party. His eyes are bloodshot, his hands are clenched into fists at his sides.
“James, can I help you?”
“Are they here?”
“I’m alone, is something wrong?”
“Kathryn left the set early, said she couldn’t film tonight’s scenes, because she had a headache. I followed her, then saw her get in a car with your friend.”
I have no idea what to say, and furthermore, have no interest in getting involved. This isn’t the first time Alexandre has found his way into the bed of an attached woman. But, I do find it odd Alexandre hasn’t left town. He lied to me, but there is too much going on for me to care about what he is up to with Kathryn. I’m sure, I can guess.
“Look, James, all I can tell you is they’re not here. If I see Kathryn, I’ll let her know you are looking for her.”
I begin to shut the door, when James slams it hard with his hand, keeping it open. His eyes have gone from bloodshot to crazy in the span of two seconds, which startles me a little.
“A better idea would be to tell Alexandre to leave her the hell alone.”
He whirls around, practically jumping off the front steps.
Events couldn’t get any more bizarre. After so many years of boredom, I’m not relishing this chaos. It reminds me of my past. Once I met Julien, my life spun quickly out of control. One minute I was married to a man I couldn’t stand, the next I was madly in love, and the minute after finding the love of my life, I had lost everything. I should probably listen to the fear growing inside me, but I have a date with Jack. These crazy people can all have each other.
At least everyone’s gone for now, so I can focus on other things. Jack and I have plans to meet back at his hotel. He wanted to meet for dinner, but I can’t eat. What’s the point of going through the motions of a date, when all we end up doing is tearing each other’s clothes off, anyway? I said to eat without me, and I would see him after.
James has taken up my precious bath time, so I adjust, taking a quick shower instead. I choose a black cotton summer dress, with dark green strappy sandals. I’m used to long stretches of boring, so the events of the past days are making my head spin. The best remedy for a spinning head is to spend another night tangled in Jack’s arms.
We do just that. I purposely leave out everything that happened with Alexandre, and James. No need to create any more confusion, there is enough of that going on, and Jack still doesn’t know what I am. Something else that is on my mind.
Sliding out of the hotel bed, I pull my dress on over my head, as I am again getting ready to do my disappearing act.
“Ducking out again. Why don’t you stay tonight?”
“I’m sorry. I feel like such a guy, but I have early morning obligations.”
“You keep saying, obligations, but you never explain what the word means.” He is prodding, as gently as he can.
“I’m involved with different charities around town. That’s what rich girls do with their days.” My attempt at a lame joke, but really just a pathetic excuse.
I need to come up with an actual cover if I’m going to keep this up. It would be so much easier to say, “I’m a vampire and need to get my beauty sleep between dawn and dusk.”
Taking my leave, I head home. Once there, I get a call from Jack on my cell.
“You bolted out of here like the building was on fire.”
I laugh, “Very funny. I’m sorry for rushing out, forgive me?”
“Of course. On the condition you spend the day with me tomorrow. The actual day. I was a little focused on other things tonight and forgot to tell you I have the day off. It occurs to me I’ve never seen you in the daylight.”
In my mind, I picture a pile of ashes next to designer heels, as the sun shines brightly overhead. Worrying about what I look like in the daytime takes on a whole new meaning.
“I would love to but let me check my schedule and get back to you. Get some sleep and I’ll call you later. Ok?”
“Do I have a choice?” he responds, a little sulkily.
“We all have choices. By the way, good choices in the bedroom last night.”
I hope my humor will get me off the phone, buying me some time to think. The lightness I have been feeling dissipates a little.
With too many details at once, my head feels like it’s swimming. Would turning Jack be a possibility? I’ve never done it before. I know the mechanics and it doesn’t seem too hard, except for the possibility of his being unable to cope with the change. Would he even want to be what I am? Had Julien lived, I would never have wanted this. I wanted to live my life with Julien, have his children, and grow old with him. I know Jack has plans for his future. He told me about his next picture, which will finally see him as a leading man, something he has been working toward for a long time. As an actor with a familiar face, it may be difficult for him to disappear. A very important aspect to consider.
I put these thoughts aside and focus on what should be first. Is what we have more to Jack than just a fling? It feels like it. He is sweet and tender, always wanting me to stay. But, if he just sees me as a nice little on-location piece, everything else is moot. If I find out that he feels the same way I do, then I need to start worrying. And what about Alexandre? Do I now have to worry about what he’ll do, on top of everything else? I can’t imagine he’s serious, but he has managed to thoroughly piss me off. He’s always been on my side; I feel off without him to advise me.
I crawl between my sheets, burying my head under the mound of pillows. My bed has always been a sanctuary for me. Someplace I feel safe, comfortable. It’s typical for a vampire to immediately fall into a death like sleep, but I have too much going on in my mind. I keep thinking about Julien, comparing him to Jack. If Jack didn’t look exactly like Julien, I wouldn’t have ever given him the time of day. That isn’t fair to Jack, he is his own man and a pretty great one.
There’s no denying the difference in personality. Julien knew he was attractive to women. Before meeting me, he used to bed women, left and right. He was anything but shy. Jack on the other hand, could certainly be defined as such. Had I not taken the lead, I’m not sure he’d have ever made a move. Jack seems unsure of himself, at times. In one of our bedroom conversations, he confessed he was genuinely surprised with his film success. He does not understand his appeal. Julien was confident in his work and himself, to the point of cockiness, but he was incredibly kind, as is Jack. Both men share creative abilities, along with bedroom prowess. However, I’m not convinced there are more differences, than similarities.
I tell myself to shut up and go to sleep. I don’t think anything has ever been solved by worrying through the night, or in my case, through the day.