Kacie
In an attempt to feel whatever warmth Jake had left I pushed my body as close as I could to his. I ignored the unevenness of his body, the difference between it now and what I remembered. Everything in me came flowing out as my hair flowed out all around me. My hands grasped at his muddy shirt and my heart broke for the second time today.
Jake’s body was hard and the finality of it pulled the sheet from beneath my feet. I was no longer able to deny the crushing reality. The warmth was seeping out of him as quickly as the clouds had formed above us. Footsteps squelched behind me announcing Viktor’s presence.
My pain vibrated in his chest as he stopped behind me. It was enough to pull him away from mourning his sister. The curiosity outweighing the fear led him to me. I could feel his pain as he felt mine. I knew when he saw who lay beneath me because he made an unintelligible sound behind me. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head. I couldn’t look back at him. I couldn’t see the feeling I felt etched on his face.
“Why?” Viktor choked. When I didn’t answer he continued. “How did this happen? Who did this?” He asked.
“Jade,” I whispered.
“How? Why?” Viktor asked again.
“Nyx killed Jade. I killed the elder who brought this fight to our pack. I avenged him. I got revenge for us,” I whispered.
He walked around Jake and lowered himself on the other side. Tears dripped down in my line of sight. I looked up at my mate from Jake’s chest. His eyes searched Jake’s face for sign of life, for a sign of anything. When he found nothing, he stilled. He didn’t move to touch us, or Jake. He didn’t try to come closer than he already had. He sat in front of me and I watched as he came to terms as I had.
Lighting flashed but neither of us blinked. There was nothing here today that could scare us. The worst had already happened. Viktor’s mouth dropped open as he tried to form words but failed. Tears leaked from my eyes and onto Jake’s muddied shirt. There was nothing I could do. Nothing he could do or say to make things better. We were faced with the finality of our relationship.
We’d lost our mate, we’d lost a piece of us. We’d agreed to keep trying, to give us another try just for his life to be snatched away. We didn’t have a chance to make amends and wouldn’t be able to work on things like we’d agreed to before we’d heard from Jamie. Everything we had wanted to happen wouldn’t.
Everything that was supposed to happen would not. Our family had been broken today. Our child would never know Jake. It would never know much he loved him. It would never know. Viktor’s mouth hung open but nothing came out. Tears leaked from my eyes and onto Jake’s muddied shirt. Jake’s stillness shook me to the very core and sobs wracked my shoulders as I clung to him. The need to hold onto him as if he wouldn’t leave if I did overtook me.
We’d been robbed of the future that we hadn’t planned for but accepted, the future we looked forward to, and the ability to make up. Our family wouldn’t ever be the same. Viktor shook his head as he looked down at us.
“No,” he breathed.
“Yes.”
“Did it hurt?” Viktor choked.
“Only for a little. It was quick. he didn’t… he didn’t suffer long,” I whispered.
Viktor grasped his chest, his claws dug into flesh as he struggled to breathe. He leaned back and lifted his eyes to the sky. Tears streamed down his cheeks as lightening flashed again and rain came down angrily. His chest expanded with each haggard breath he took. His hands balled into fists as he took a deep breath.
“No!” Viktor screamed.
His hands came up above his head and slammed down on the ground. Bloodied mud went flying everywhere and splattered in different directions. He lifted his mighty fists and slammed them down on the ground over and over again. Angry with the world for the hand we’d been dealt. He took it out on the earth beneath him.
When he stilled, his head sagged forward, a whimper falling from his lips. I called to him as cheeks dripped from his chin. His eyes shimmered with newly un-shed tears and crazy with desperation. I motioned for him to come closer, to come to us, but he didn’t move. Viktor stared down at me as if I were far away and he couldn’t come near.
“I failed you,” Viktor whispered.
“No,” I cried.
“I failed him,” Viktor said, his eyes darting to Jake’s face.
“No,” I said firmly.
“Yes,” Viktor said just as firmly.
“It’s not true. There was nothing you could have done!” I said.
I pulled myself up and leaned toward him.
“I could have been more alert! I let myself get captured. I put you in danger. I left him,” Viktor choked. “I sent him into battle.”
“We sent him with Jamie,” I said.
“And look at them. I killed them. I sent Jake into battle alone to fend for himself against those things,” Viktor yelled.
“He’s not a child, Vik. He’s your Beta, it’s his job to stand by your side and step in when you can’t. We were blindsided and did the only thing we could. We can’t start what-if everything. I don’t blame you,” I choked. “I hope you don’t blame me.”
“Never,” Viktor said.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For what, Kacie?” Viktor asked.
“For not blaming me.”
“How could I? As much as you tell me it’s not my fault, my heart, my mind, my soul says otherwise. It’s my job to protect. It’s my job to keep this pack, my family, my mates safe. I didn’t do that today. It feels as if my heart has been ripped from my chest,” Viktor wept.