SAVANNAH
I paused at the entrance to the Blue Stone high-rise on Fifth Avenue and gazed at the building. I felt my stomach turn and twist into a million knots. I was excited, of course, but nervous as well. I had not been to any man’s place aside from Edward’s.
The doorman greeted Rafael, opening the door for us. Inside, another man sat at the security desk that didn’t mind us when we walked to the elevators.
Inside the elevator car, I couldn’t say anything. This was real. A huge step into entering deeper into Rafael’s private life—another way to know him a little more. They said you’d find a glimpse of one’s personality through his home. I hope that was true.
Rafael glided his hand into my fingers, easing me with a smile. “Come closer. I don’t bite.”
I nodded, smiling back.
The ride to his penthouse was fast. The doors of the elevator opened into a small hallway. We stepped out and headed in the only direction, finding ourselves in a foyer. The air was cool, the silence was deafening; I could hear the brushing friction of Rafe’s suit and our footsteps, and a few lights were on.
The space broadened when we reached the living room. I was immediately in awe of the gorgeous view. His penthouse was like his office, minimalist with floor-to-ceiling windows that boasted the Manhattan skyline but five times bigger.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
“So if I marry you, I get to live here?” I meant it as a joke, but it slipped out of my tongue, and I couldn’t take back the words.
“Careful.” He slipped his arm on my waist and nuzzled on my hair. “I’m easily tempted when it comes to you.”
Shivers rolled down my spine.
He released me and walked to the kitchen. “Do you want anything?”
“Just water, please. Thank you.”
He didn’t respond, so I toured myself to his expansive living room. I moved to the piano by the stairs and pressed a key. The sound resonated in the high ceiling.
“Do you play?” he asked me, returning with a glass of water.
I took the glass and gulped it. “Oh, I can, but probably not as good as you. I had a few lessons as a child but realized it wasn’t for me. I love music, though.”
He came from a family of musicians. Before Sebastian Entertainment was an empire, it started as a small label. All his life, his world probably revolved around music and entertainment. From his grandfather to his father, he was now the third generation heir to one of the most successful conglomerate entertainment businesses in America.
“What’s for you, then?” Rafe removed his suit jacket, undid his cuffs, and rolled them to his elbows. His bare arm had become one of my favorite things. His firm muscles and the veins on his hands and forearm displayed delicious power and masculinity.
“Probably classic literature—romance and adventure at most. And then paintings, sculptures… I’m amazed by them.”
“I have collections of classic literature and canvases of landscapes. They’re at my parents’ house on Long Island. I’ll show them to you some time.”
“You’ll take me to your parents’ house?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Oh, of course.”
“Come.” He offered his hand. “Let’s make the most of the moment. I want to hear your conditions.” He grinned.
I took his hand, laughing. “They’re not conditions.”
He led me to the couch, where I saw the huge TV, his eyes never leaving mine. We sat in silence, and I just took him in, enhancing my immunity to his overwhelming presence, controlling my emotions at bay. Every fiber of my being telling me to climb into his lap and his arms soothe away the nervousness in my body.
But I had to remind myself every time that falling for him was not part of the deal. It’d be hard because I knew I was beginning to.
I met his gaze. His eyes were like warm waters in summer.
“So?” he initiated.
I cleared my throat. “I want to hear yours first.”
He eyed me steadily. “What I want is simple. No one should know about this agreement, not even your closest friend or your family. You must be exclusive and available to me on every special occasion. You must be in my arms whenever there are cameras but only answer a few basic interviews. We must be careful because I want us to appear believable.”
“How about our story? What should we tell your family?”
“It shouldn’t be complicated. We just tell them how we met, became acquaintances, and to the present when I couldn’t take my hands off you. The truth is always the easier route.”
“Except for the agreement part, of course.”
“That’s right.”
I smirked. “I almost want to believe this is true.”
“Isn’t that the point of this? To make them believe it is true?”
So, this really wasn’t true enough for him, huh?
“Can’t we just go on dates for real? Why do we have to make this complicated? You already asked me to marry you later.” Although his marriage proposal wasn’t the old-fashioned way, some people just had preferences. “Why do we still need an agreement when we could just go for the easier route?”
I knew and understood he wasn’t the type to give more. He never engaged in any serious commitments for some reason he still hadn’t told me.
But didn’t we already say we wanted each other? Wasn’t that enough to do this properly and let it go with the flow?
Who was I to him, then? Just a woman he needed to achieve his goals?
How about me? How about what I feel?
Or was there something he was afraid of?
RAFAEL
I scanned Savannah’s exquisite features. Her skin glowed against my living room light, and she looked more enticing than in my office earlier now that she was sitting in my private space. It was too intimate, too tempting…
I’d received brave declarations from women before, but her question had me frozen. Her unwavering eyes I’d always admired, were reading me, looking through my soul.
Growing up, I witnessed my parents’ passion and devotion to each other. But when my father succeeded the legacy, the throne took him away from my mother. My grandfather made him a different man. Made him ruthless. He loved his grandchildren but couldn’t care less for my mother. For Benjamin Sr., her only duty was to stand by my father.
For my mother, Dad wasn’t a proper husband. He wasn’t there when she lit a candle and baked him for their anniversary. He wasn’t there when she was ill, depressed, or even when she gave birth to any of my siblings. He wasn’t there when she raised us. He made countless broken promises to her. Many nights had been wasted. Unmeasurable tears had been shed for thousands of days.
But my mother remained faithful and quiet for years, hiding her pain under her smiles. She was wounded, but Dad was still the only man for her.
I was not my father, so I wouldn’t live like him. I didn’t want to become him. I didn’t want a wife crying for me every night. I didn’t want my children to grow up callous like me.
If I had managed to work alone all this time without a woman by my side, a wife wasn’t necessary. I had other ways to fulfill my needs. My nightclub in Midtown, for instance, had existed for that reason.
I was the product of what I’d witnessed from my parents.
Love didn’t conquer all. It wasn’t enough to save my family.
The truth was, I couldn’t give Savannah what she wanted. I already knew it from the start.
But here I was, drawn to her like a moth to a flame for an unfathomable reason.
“I don’t know how to do it,” I confessed. I stood up and started pacing. For the first time in my life, I was vulnerable in front of someone.
“Do what?”
“This. I can’t be in a relationship because I don’t know how. I don’t know how to commit. I’m not capable.” It was the only truth I could answer her. “I chose you to fulfill that role because it was the only way I think I can have you, however selfish it may sound. One night won’t be enough. A few weeks might not be sufficient either.”
She sprang up, moved toward me as courageous as she always was, and held my face. “Hey, look at me. You care for me, Rafe. Maybe you just can’t see it.”
“Or you just don’t know me at all. Honestly, I think you are brave to be here with me right now.”
“Shh… You are capable,” I whispered, searching for his eyes. “You can give more if you just let yourself. I understand now. Even if I don’t know your reason. And we always have a reason for every decision we make.”
I leaned my head on her. “Oh, baby. You deserve better. I hate disappointing you.”
“I know.” She smiled. “Do you care for me?”
“I do.” I cupped her face between my palms, inhaling her scent. She was glorious. “God, of course, I do.”
“Then we will figure this out. I will do it,” she declared. “I’ll be with you, and show me what you can do.”
I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t promise her anything.
“Rafe?”
“Mm.”
“I trust you, okay?”
I chuckled. “Then you’re naïve. Brave but naïve.”
She glided my arms around her waist. I felt her smile on my chest. “Thank you for opening up to me even just a little bit.”
God, I couldn’t get enough of her. “Stay with me tonight.”
She looked up at me in surprise. “What? But didn’t you say you haven’t…”
I pressed my thumb on her soft, supple lips. “Shh… We will figure this out.” I wrapped my arms around her luscious body and started kissing her with everything I got.