I went to bed at half past three in the morning after two glasses of whiskey, thinking that would make me tipsy enough to give me a good night’s sleep. But after an hour in bed, my dreams turned into nightmares. Nothing changed much. I still go back to that night. The man and my father visited me in my dreams again. As usual, I was waiting for Nicholas to save me. But tonight, he never appeared. As if he’d forgotten to save me, or perhaps, he’d given up.
I bolted up from bed, wide awake. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was shaking in fear. I was quick to reach out to the space beside me, hoping to be in the comfort of the arms that rescued me that night and each night afterward. But all I felt was the cold and empty sheets over the soft, unoccupied mattress.
I hugged my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees. I realized that this was the stupidest thing I’d done all week. I should have known that I wasn’t ready yet. Because of my stupid pride, I have forgotten that my worst enemy at the moment was myself—my memories of that night, my nightmares. Awake, that ordeal may be an era away from my consciousness. But in my sleep, they still hold me prisoner, refusing to set me free.
I realized I had a choice. I could go to Brett’s room and ask if I could sleep on his couch. No one would hold me, but at least it would give me enough comfort that I wasn’t alone. However, he would probably kill me if I disturbed the amazing sex he and Terry are currently having.
Besides, that would pique his curiosity. If he realized I can’t sleep alone, he would conclude about my sleeping arrangements with Nick. And that conclusion would be damn accurate! Worse, he would pry about the reason why I suddenly have nightmares haunting me to sleeplessness. Involving him and his father in my war with Robert Clarke was the last thing I wanted to do.
My phone suddenly beeped. When I saw the message on my screen, I couldn’t help the tears that rolled down my cheek.
“Kitten…”
That was it. That was all he texted.
“Nick…” I texted back.
“You’re still up?”
“I can’t sleep,” I admitted.
“Me, too,” he said.
Now, I’m tempted to go, borrow Brett’s car, and just go home, to Nick’s house, right into his arms. But then I remembered the bimbo he was flirting with. Maybe his energy was up after all the sex he just had. I didn’t want to intrude!
After a minute of not texting back anything, he sent me another message.
“Nightmares?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Was worried about that. You ok? Want me to pick you up?”
I wanted to text him yes in all caps, but that would be imposing too much on him. He’s got his own life, too, and besides, it was past four in the morning. So instead, I texted, “No. I’ll be okay.”
It took him more than a minute to respond: “Go to sleep, kitten. Pretend I’m right beside you. I won’t sleep until you do.”
I tried to lie down on the bed again, holding my phone in one hand. I stared at the ceiling for another fifteen minutes.
Did he really mean what he said? He won’t sleep until I am? Will he wait that long?
Out of curiosity, I sent him another message.
“Nick…”
My heart pumped three times faster inside my chest as I counted the seconds until he responded. Half a minute later, my phone beeped.
“Kitten…”
I couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear now. I checked the time. It was already five in the morning. My body was tired, but somehow, I found this unexplainable surge of energy. I haven’t felt like this before and I could not explain the feeling. I felt happy, excited, and thrilled.
What the hell was happening to me?!
I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but for the life of me, I could not think of anything to text back. Damn! How do I deal with this? I have never done this before. Not even with Jen. When I attempted to be mushy with her, I felt as though it was so unnecessary to be corny and affectionate. But now, shit! I didn’t want to feel mushy and corny, but I couldn’t seem to help it.
I didn’t know what else to say to him, so I just typed three dots and sent it to him.
After a minute he responded, “I know. Whatever, right? Close your eyes, kitten. I’m right here.”
I bit my lower lip because deep inside, I really wanted to scream and if I did that, Brett and Terry would be barging into the room in hysterics.
Finally, I did close my eyes and this time, I didn’t have nightmares at all. Only the sweetest of dreams.
When I woke up, it was nine in the morning. I stood up from bed, took a shower, and dressed in the pair of denim shorts that I had kept in the guestroom closet. I found I still have a couple of clothes in Brett’s house. I could use those now that the number of clothes in my name had diminished immensely since I moved out of my father’s house. I packed them in one of Brett’s gym bags.
Then I went downstairs, made myself a cup of coffee, and sat on the swing on the front porch. Brett and Terry weren’t up yet and I didn’t think they would be waking up soon.
I took my phone and reread my chat with Nick. I couldn’t help the knot inside my stomach, the tug inside my chest, or the smile on my face.
Nick was really sweet and caring and I couldn’t help falling for his charms!
Argh! Damn it! Am I falling for this guy? Am I having feelings for him?
And shit! Why did it have to be Nicholas Atkins? Of all guys, I had to fall for the Alpha Male who only dates sexy supermodels whose skills in the bedroom would be nothing short of superb. The playboy who always has a line of smoking hot girls hoping to catch his attention?
Nicholas Atkins, my kind, gentle superhero, my knight in shining armor.
I sighed as I thought, Nicholas Atkins, my landlord who sees me like a brother of sorts!
I wouldn’t even aim for hot and gorgeous because that would be way too ambitious. As it is, Nick wouldn’t even think I’m a cute girl. Oh God, who was I kidding? Nick wouldn’t even see me as a girl, period.
I looked at my phone and stared at his phone number. Your Hot Roommate, it says, and it had a picture of him lying down on a pillow. He had an arrogant look on his face and his stare was piercing through my soul. He looked absolutely hot. I could only see his neck and the top of his shoulders but I could definitely say he was shirtless. It was as if he was taunting me, knowing that I was supposed to be unaffected by him.
“Yeah, he’s really hot,” Terry suddenly said from behind me.
I almost jumped up from my chair. I turned off the screen of my phone. I raised a brow at Terry, although I knew I was turning beet red on the face.
But instead of feeling intimidated, Terry just laughed. “Relax, it’s just us here. Your cousin’s still snoring in the room. I’m usually a morning person. We can have a little girl talk.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Excuse me? Girl talk?” She nodded and smiled at me, completely unfazed by the killer look I just gave her. “What is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked back. “You suck at preventing yourself from falling for Nick, who is a guy, because, girl, no matter how much you rock the androgynous fashion, or you play drums like a rock star, deep inside your heart, you are a girl. You’re different, yes. You’re a kick-ass girl. But, you’re still a girl.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, you know,” I muttered, getting aggravated by her unsolicited girl advice.
She laughed, still not intimidated by me. I usually drive people away with just a raise of a brow. “No. I’m just saying that maybe you should stop being someone else. Just go with what you feel. I mean, I get that you’ve been raised unconventionally and nothing’s wrong with that. But you can like a guy, too, and be just as tough and just as kick-ass as you are now.” She looked at the phone in my hand.
“Who said I like anyone?” My voice was raised now.