“Nick…” I whispered.
He took a step forward as if he wanted to lunge forward and take me into his arms. I prepared myself to be caught by him, maybe even to be crushed in his arms as his lips bruise mine, like he used to do…
But he stopped midway, hesitating. Then I remembered last night, when I told him to think things over between us, between him and Margot. Now, staring up at his handsome face, I kept asking myself, what the hell was I thinking?!
I didn’t know what he will say to me and what decision he’s made. Frankly, if I wasn’t busy worrying about how I looked like in this dress and in my makeup, I would be pacing back and forth waiting to hear what he had to say.
Nick didn’t seem to know how to act in front of me either. When I looked at his face, I hardly recognized him. He used to be sweet and jolly, always having a mischievous, playful expression on his face. Now, he looked somber and tired, as if he was up all night thinking.
And I did not find it comforting that he had to think long and hard about his decision: if it was me, if he was going to choose to be with me.
There was also a good chance that he will choose to be with me. And when he does, I want to make sure that nobody will ever come between us. I don’t want to be haunted like this again.
Nick was the first person I have ever fallen in love with. He was the first man I ever trusted enough to give him my heart. I thought this was a fairy tale: handsome knight in shining armor turns princess charming into a lady, makes her fall in love with him, and starts believing in ever after.
Now, princess charming was up against the knight’s old flame. And it wasn’t as if she was up against a fling or a fuck buddy. She was fighting the knight’s first love and years of history that she didn’t have with him.
I wanted to be with Nick for a very long time; forever, if destiny allowed it. I would give him my whole heart; he need not worry that there would be someone else. I had no history with anybody, only a future, and I want Nick to be in it.
The problem was, right now, our future seemed bleak, uncertain. Even if he chose me, how could I be sure that his past would not catch up with us again?
That I fought his first love and I won?
That he would love me far better than he ever loved the love of his life?
I sighed and forced a bright smile on my face. Blaze was right. I should fight for Nick. He deserved it. And even if he didn’t choose me, at least he would know that I didn’t just let him go. I wanted him, even if he wanted someone else more than me.
“Oh, you guys! So much drama, I’m going to kill myself!” Blaze said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I’ll go in. Come in after five minutes and please look surprised!”
I stared up at Nick. “What’s that about?”
He shrugged. “They’re throwing a party.” He looked at me for a long moment. I couldn’t read the expression on his face. It was a combination of thoughtfulness, amazement, yearning, and hesitation. Then he said, “You look absolutely stunning.”
“Blaze made me change my clothes. I was originally wearing pants and sneakers. I didn’t know what type of party this was.”
“Doesn’t matter, really,” he said, his eyes turning a shade darker somehow. “You look beautiful no matter what you wear.”
I smiled at him shyly. “Blaze thought you would appreciate me dressing up for you.”
Nick stared at me for a moment, but he didn’t say anything. Then he took my hand in his and led me inside the building and into a black door entrance of a bar called Tyler’s Escape.
“Maybe Blaze just wanted to keep me on my toes, put my guard up.”
“What? Why?”
He gave me a frustrated sigh. “This party we’re going to is full of sharks, wolves and rakehells. Worse than Blaze.”
“And you? I remember you used to have the same reputation.”
He shook his head and said, “That’s all I had, a reputation. Blaze, on the other hand, had track record.” There was wear in his voice, as if he was seriously worried his brother was going after me.
“I’ll be fine. You, of all people, should know that I’m not easily affected by a guy’s charm.”
He looked at me and for the first time this afternoon, he smiled. I saw pride in that smile. “I know. I will never forget that.”
I was about to say something but suddenly, the door in front of us opened. We stepped into a dark room. Nick took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. We stood there for about five seconds and then, the lights came on and we were greeted by a lot of people shouting, “Happy Birthday!”
Blaze was on stage with an electric guitar in his arms. On cue, he struck the chords and everybody sang Happy Birthday. Margot and Beatrice approached us. They were holding a cake with lighted Roman candles and held it in front of Nick. I reluctantly let go of Nick’s hand to make room for the cake. I didn’t know if they saw me, but I felt Margot shove me aside, on purpose I believe, so she could stand beside Nick. I wanted to push her away, probably knock out a tooth or two while I’m at it, but I didn’t want to make a scene. So, I just continued singing and clapping along with everybody, pretending that I didn’t even notice what she did.
After the song, everybody cheered and fought their way toward Nick. I stood in the corner, feeling ashamed and guilty. Shit! How could I even call Nick my boyfriend? His ex-girlfriend went through all the trouble to throw him a party, and I didn’t even know it was his birthday!
Nick blew the candles and said thank you to the girls. Beatrice leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then Margot lunged forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek as well.
I wanted to pull her by the hair to be honest, but then I realized these are all their friends. The chances of me not getting out of this bar alive if I hurt a hair on her body were between eighty to one hundred percent.
Nick pulled away from Margot. I took a step toward him, but I felt myself being pushed away by the other people making their way toward him.
I tried to make my way to him, but it was impossible. He was in the middle of at least forty people, all trying to get near him as if he was a celebrity. Well, maybe he was. Nick was a good guy and I was sure anybody who became friends with him was bound to love him.
I found an empty table and sat on one of the seats. I watched Nick’s old friends catch up to greet him. He looked genuinely happy to see some and uncomfortable to chat with some. He looked distracted, looking beyond the crowd, beyond the bar. In my heart, I hoped, he was looking for me.
I wanted to come up there to him, but then what? Introduce myself to his friends as his girlfriend? Sounds so assuming especially since I didn’t even know what was going on in Nick’s mind. Had he thought about things? Was he able to sort out his emotions for Margot? For me?
I heaved a sad sigh and turned away to watch Blaze and his band. He was singing a song called “The Light Behind Your Eyes.” Well, two minutes of listening to him and I couldn’t deny, Blaze had real talent. He sings way better than Bailey and Bailey sings for a living.
Suddenly, I felt somebody touch my nape. I looked up and found Nick looking at me.
“Why did you let go of my hand?” he asked.
“To make room for the cake?” Well, what could I say? Because your bitchy ex pushed me out of the way? And I let her because I didn’t want to make a scene?
He took my hand and pulled me up to my feet. Then he whispered to my ear, “I’m not fond of cake. Unless it’s baked by you of course.”
I looked up at him shyly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it’s your birthday.”
He shook his head. “It’s not my birthday. Not until tomorrow. This is an advanced celebration that Beatrice and my good friend Tyler insisted on throwing for me in spite of knowing that I do not celebrate this day.”
“Still, I felt bad not knowing,” I said.
“It doesn't matter. For the past three or four years, I've started a tradition of not celebrating my birthdays. I usually lock myself up in my room and listen to ‘Everglow’ over and over again."
I raised a brow at him. "’Everglow’? Why?"
He shrugged and smiled at me. But for a moment, I saw a shadow of sadness cross his face and it made me wonder why.
"It's okay. I guess I'll find a way to honor tradition this year." He was being cryptic, but I could tell this tradition really meant something to him. But I guess I'd have to wait until he was ready to tell me about it. "Besides, you're here. Maybe I wasn't meant to celebrate my birthday alone this year." And he gave me a smile that reached his eyes this time.
My heart suddenly ballooned inside my chest. It was as if I was holding on to a small thread of hope that Nick would choose me and that thread just became thicker. “I’ll make it worth your while then,” I said.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, kitten.”
“I promise,” I said firmly.
He opened his mouth to say something but suddenly, somebody put an arm around him and pulled him away. We both looked behind him and found a guy with beautiful olive skin and striking brown eyes. “Nick, my brother from another mother,” he said.
Nick released me and hugged the other guy. “Tyler.”
“You don’t run away again without a word, you hear that?” Tyler said, tapping Nick on the back.
“You’re always welcome to visit me, man.” Nick released Tyler and turned to me. “I want you to meet someone. Tyler, this is Mackenzie. Kitten, meet Tyler, the guy who called me day and night for the last three weeks to get me to come here.”
He stared at me for a long moment, almost in shock, until he was able to quickly get hold of his emotions. “Oh, this was why you didn’t want to leave the States.” Tyler stepped forward and gave me a hug.
I felt Nick give him a playful push on the shoulder so he would release me. “Off limits,” he told him in a serious tone and Tyler laughed.
“So I have been warned,” he said, laughing. Then he turned to me. “You are absolutely stunning. I understand why he’s become so possessive all of a sudden.”
We were interrupted by a group of guys who tried to pull Nick into their circle. I felt Tyler pull me by the elbow, telling Nick, “Go! I’ll take care of her. I promise I’ll be nice.”
Nick was hesitant, but the group of guys pulled him to their table. I looked at Tyler, who offered his arm to me.
“I’ll escort you to our table,” he said.
I reluctantly took his arm and allowed him to lead me to the tables at the back, which were elevated three steps up. It looked like the VIP section. On the way, I could feel eyes staring at me, looking at me from head to toe. The guests were studying me, curious about who I was. I was silently thanking Blaze for making me change my clothes. If I were to be under the microscope for being with Nick, and if I were going to be compared to Margot, I was so glad I had a good fighting chance. Blaze was right. Nick shouldn’t have to explain to everybody why he was with me instead of the stunning siren vying for his affection.
Tyler pulled a chair out for me.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You’re welcome, mademoiselle.”
He turned to the waiter and spoke to him in French, telling him to bring house cocktail for me and beer for him. Then he turned to me, smiling. “You are a pleasant surprise.”
“Why?”
He shrugged, “Well, I just didn’t expect Nick to be with somebody else…” he trailed off, realizing he said too much. Or maybe he did that on purpose, I wasn’t sure.
I smiled at him gracefully. “Other than Margot, you mean?”
He smiled at me innocently. “Oh, he’s told you about her,” he said. “Yeah, they used to be a couple. But more than that, Margot was Nick’s counterpart. It was like, they thought the same way, liked the same things. They were the best of friends before they became an item. Margot got Nick in ways that only Sai could.”
“Sai?” I echoed.