Molly
My walk to town was hard, not so much physically although it was made a lot harder by the day that I've had but more than anything it was mentally hard. I walked past so many places where homes once stood but now all that was left was rubble and mess.
My mind was fogged the entire walk as I thought about everything that had happened over the last two years and tried to figure out where I go from here. While on my way here I walked past people who were living their own hells whether it be heartbreak at losing their home, car, personal and precious items or even god forbid their family or friends.
Their troubles are so much worse than mine right now and for that, I feel like I'm acting like a shitty human. I'm here feeling sorry for myself while others have got it so much worse but still, I can't help how I feel. Everyone has struggles no matter how big or small and no one should be judged by them. Everyone's feelings and lives matter regardless of if they are worse than someone else's.
I make it into town and I'm shocked at the sight that greats me, It was the last thing that I expected to see. The place is pretty much in its usual state, aside from some rubbish that has blown in the place is untouched. It looks like the Tornado has run through the outskirts of the town and avoided the main part which is amazing.
I dont want to even begin to imagine how bad it would have been if it had gone through here, the amount of livelihoods and lives that would have been lost is unimaginable. The main town may have been untouched but people are still running around like headless chickens. Some are in a panic trying to call loved ones while others are busy gathering supplies to give to those who need them.
I keep walking down a small narrow side lane that leads to the bottom end of the town. There are ambulances parked up while paramedics see the wounded and police cars stationed around as they try and help everyone while getting some kind of order going.
I pass one of the ambulances where a little girl is sitting on a women's lap inside. I assume it's her Mom as she's holding on to her with everything she has all while keeping a dirty-looking teddy tucked under one of her arms. While there is an elderly couple in the ambulance next to them. It's a sad sight to see, all these people hurting physically and emotionally, and it's a sight that I think will always stay with me.
"Molly, dear, are you ok? I turn my head to be met with the beautiful smile of Mrs, Jackson. She owns the local bakery. She was one of the first people that I met when I moved here and in that short time, she has been so kind to me. no judgment even when she didn't know me unlike Christian... don't think about him Molls... just don't!
"Molly, dear." I shake my thoughts when I realize that she is still waiting for my answer. I nod and give her the best smile that I can manage right now. "I'm ok Mrs, Jackson. How are you doing? Have you been hurt?"
"No, I'm fine dear." A sad look crosses over her face giving me room to doubt her words. "Are you sure Mrs, Jackson? You look a little sad." She gives me a gentle smile but it doesn't reach her eyes, it's nothing like her usual full-face smile which means I'm right.
"I haven't been hurt dear but Poppet got away from me while we were out walking and I can't find her anywhere. That's why I'm here hoping she run to the bakery for safety!" Oh, bless her heart, that little dog is her whole world, even goes to work with her every day. She'll be heartbroken if anything has happened to him.
"Well, we had better go find him then hadn't we?" I give her my best smile as I hold out my arm and she curls hers around it. "You dont need to do this mind child, im sure you have more important things to do?" The only thing I need to do is to get inside somewhere before Tom comes looking for me but I can't leave her like this.
"I don't have anything more important to do than this Mrs, Jackson." Her smile this time is a little brighter but worry still laces her eyes. "Oh, my how rude of me. I haven't even asked how everyone is at the farm. Please tell me everyone is ok?" She is such a sweetheart, she makes me wish that I had got the chance to have a Grandma in my life. "Everyone is fine. The house was destroyed but it can be rebuilt. Everyone is safe and all the animals so that's all that matters."
She stops walking looking like she's mulling over the idea of something before she nods her head seemingly deciding something. "Tell them they can stay at mine while they rebuild their home."
"But Mrs, Jackson you live above the bakery, I don't think they would all fit up there." A laugh leaves my lips at the mental image of all those muscled men trying to make it work in a tiny apartment while the kids run wild. "Oh no dear, I mean my house." Huh, I'm confused and clearly, she can see that "I live at the bakery now because it's easier. My body isn't what it used to be but I'm not ready to give up on my love for the place yet so I stay there but I have a home not too far from here. It's not as big as the farmhouse was but it's big enough for them all to live in for as long as they need." This woman really is a goddam sweetheart.
"Ok, Mrs, Jackson, let's find Poppet and then we get back to that." She seems happy with that as she once again takes my arm and we keep walking "You too dear. You can stay there too."
"Oh, thank you for the offer Mrs, Jackson but I'm going to be leaving here today." She stops walking once more before staring into my eyes. It feels like she can read my thoughts and it gives me goosebumps. "Why are you leaving?" Where to even begin answering that question?
"It's just time for me to move on, that's all." She keeps looking at me then suddenly gets a strange look on her face. "That's bullshit, Molly!" A cough rushes from me as hearing sweet old Mrs, Jackson curse. That's the first time I've ever heard her say any kind of curse word and it's strange... yeah I don't like it.
"I may be old but I still know a word or two. I also know when someone is lying to me. you're hurting Molly I can see it and that's why you are running." Ok, now she is scaring me. How the hell can she know that by just looking at me?
"you're going to stay with me tonight, don't worry you are staying at the bakery with me, not the house, and we're going to talk. If you still want to leave tomorrow I won't stop you, ok?" Do I really have a choice here? She looks ready to battle me down plus I'm starting to think that it will be impossible to say no to her. What harm will one more night in this town do? Besides I don't even know if I can get out of this place today. The coaches may not be working after the storm.
"Ok, Mrs, Jackson. I'll stay with you tonight." She nods happy with my decision and we start walking once more. "Good I'm glad to hear that. I have a beef stew and homemade bread made for supper and I made way too much. Oh, and dear please call me Penny, that's my name, Penny Jackson." No wonder she's such a sweetheart with a name like Penny.
"Ok, Penny." She smiles just as we come to a stop across the road from the bakery and who's sitting by the door? Only a small little fluffball of a dog that I can only assume is Poppet. "My baby!" Penny moves fast to get across the street to her dog.
I start crossing the little cobble road when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take it out but it's already stopped vibrating "Shit!" I've got nine missed calls from Tom and two text messages. I was so lost in my thoughts when I was leaving the farm that I didn't take a second to think about the fact that he would call me nor did I think about the fact that it would be insanely impossible not to answer him.
"Come on dear." I look up to find Penny staring at me. I push my phone into my back pocket and follow her into the bakery. "I'm going to get Poppet some food and water and make us a coffee. Why don't you take a seat and call Tom back dear?" How the shit did she know that? She gives me a knowing smile and wink before walking towards the back of the shop.
I take my phone out of my pocket but just stare at the screen. "He'll be worrying dear." I look up and smile at her while pressing call on my phone before I can stop myself and watch as she disappears into the back of the shop.
The phone only rings out twice before Tom's panicked voice comes through from the other end of the phone and I instantly feel guilty. "Molly, are you ok baby girl?" I smile at his words. "I'm ok Tom, I'm ok." His relief is clear to hear and it hurts my heart. I feel like a shitty human right now and a shitty friend. What am I doing?