Kacie
I was surrounded by darkness. I didn’t know where I was or when I was. All I knew was that I was in a pool of cold thick liquid. As much as I tried to pull, yank, or push forward through the thick substance, my legs wouldn’t budge. I felt like I was holding my breath under water and my movements were panicked. My anxiety was rising the longer I held my breath. No matter how hard I moved I couldn’t get free and things were starting to look bleak.
A voice yelled out to me but it was muffled underwater. I couldn’t tell who it was and I listened hopefully as a muffled voice yelled again. I couldn’t tell who it was but I knew that whoever it was was here to help me. Wherever it was coming from the person was out of reach. They weren’t stuck like I was. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to go to where they were.
“Kacie!”
I could make out what was being called. Kacie. That was me. They were calling me. I jerked forward as hard as I could but I didn’t move. Turning left and right with my body I felt like I was burning inside but my body was forced to stay still. There wasn’t any oxygen. I couldn’t breathe any in. If I didn’t break free I was going to die. My lungs were on fire as I fought the urge to inhale. I needed to make a choice but what could I do? If I didn’t take a breath I would die. If I did take a breath I would inhale all of this liquid and I would die.
“Kacie! Dammit Kacie!”
There it was again. The voice was a little clearer this time. The voice is hurried and sounds panicked. It’s like I have earphones on and someone is screaming at me. My fingers twitch and I almost lose the battle as I fight the urge to gasp. I did it. I fucking did it. It’s the only movement I’ve been able to accomplish since being here. This was a small victory but it was too early to celebrate. I needed to break free.
“Please,” the voice sobs.
Everything inside of me freezes. I stop fighting. I stop trying to break free. The fire calms down and there’s an ache in my heart. It hurts and I want nothing more than to do whatever this person wants. I want to reach out to them and make them better. I want to make them stop crying. I want to do everything I can to get to him.
“Please wake up, Kacie,” he pleads.
I push forward with everything I have and still it isn’t enough. Again. I push forward over and over again. I give up and sit back within my cocooned shell. I hear him plead one more time. Closing my eyes I decide it’s time to let go. I can’t keep holding my breath. My eyes fly open as I take a deep breath.
Instead of being surrounded by liquid I’m laying down in my room. Looking to my left I see Viktor first and then I see Jake. Both of them have their heads bent. Viktor’s forehead is touching my bed and Jake’s face is buried in the sheets. Viktor is holding my hand tightly. I try to call out to him but I can’t. So I squeeze his hand and his head pops up. His eyes find me as he leans forward.
“Kacie!” Viktor cried.
Viktor looks like he hasn’t slept in days. There are bags under his eyes and a five o’clock shadow. It makes me wonder how long I was out. Jake sits up and straightens his back. His eyes find mine and we stare at each other quietly. Minutes pass but it feels like a lifetime as all the mean words I say flash through my mind. Guilt. It’s the first thing I feel.
“I’m-” we both start and stop at the same time. Jake shakes his head.
“Before that,” Viktor says. “We need to have a talk.”
“That’s what I was…“ I trail off when I realize there is a needle in my arm. “What-what is this?” I asked.
“You fainted,” Viktor started cautiously. There were red flags and alarm bells going off at the tone of his voice. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“I fainted…” I repeated. My mind was racing as I tried to recall the last thing I could remember. I was drowning. No. Before that I had been arguing with him.
“Yes. You wouldn’t wake. I had to call the pack doctor. He ran some tests while you were out,” Viktor said.
“How long was I out?” I asked.
“Three days, Kacie,” Viktor murmured.
“We… I thought we lost you,” Jake choked. He wasn’t looking at me anymore. His eyes were lowered.
“You didn’t,” I said.
“We’ve been going insane for three days,” Viktor said.
“What did the tests say?” I asked.
To this, Jake lifts his head and I watch as the two of them look at each other. I don’t like it when they keep secrets from me. As I watch the emotion swim in their eyes I know my gut feeling from earlier is true. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong. And the next words out of their mouths will either tell me if they’re going to be honest with me or if they’re going to lie to my face.
“No more secrets,” I whisper pleadingly.
Jake turns and looks at me first but I can’t keep my eyes off of Viktor and the way he’s looking at Jake. I can’t place the emotion in his eyes. He turns and looks at me, a small smile pulls at his lips. I’m sure the confusion is clear on my face because he lifts my hand to his mouth.
“Tell her,” Viktor says.
“You’re pregnant, Kacie,” Jake whispers.