"Kitten, I won’t have the courage to tell you everything, looking into the eyes that captured my soul since our first chance meeting. Until that day at the beach, my life seemed a darkness from which I couldn’t find a way out, and you became that ray of light, the beacon that brought me back to life. I loved you from the first word, the first touch, the first kiss. I even loved you before I even realized it. I’ve never had women while I was with you. And during these seven years, those who came before could never make me forget you and our first night together. Amanda, I had no choice, although maybe I just got scared. That evening, Korniev gave me an ultimatum: either I abandon you and the title, or your life is at risk. I wasn’t scared for myself, but I couldn’t let anything happen to you. Forgive me for every word I said on that beach. I’m disgusted with myself. Even if you can never forgive and understand, know that I loved you back then, loved you for seven years, and will love you until my heart stops. When you returned, I naively began to believe we could fix everything. But unfortunately, I ruined everything again.
I love you, Kitten, and that’s why I wish you to be happy despite everything."
I reread the letter and sob, not stopping. My mind is filled with hundreds of questions. Thousands of accusations. But now, none of it makes sense. Adam is fighting for his life, and I don’t know if I’m ready to live with what I’ve learned, but without him. I call my parents' lawyer and ask him to handle all the arrangements for the funeral, which is tomorrow. Then I put on a tracksuit I found in my mom’s wardrobe and force myself to sit down to work. It used to help me distract myself often, and ahead is a night I somehow have to get through. I dive into the project so deeply that I don’t notice when I pass out, waking up to the morning alarm on the couch, with the laptop on my lap. I get ready and head to the hospital. First, I need to find out how Adam is doing, then change and go to the funeral.
At the hospital, I immediately approach the nurse:
- Adam Kelly, how is he? Can I see him? - she looks at me intently.
- Only family members can. Who are you to him? - I calmly raise my hand, on which, as always, the ring with the black onyx adorns my ring finger.
- Fiancée. - My voice sounds so convincingly real that even I believe it. The nurse studies me for a few more seconds, then leads me to Adam’s room and leaves me alone.
The man is connected to a pile of machines, his hands and chest covered in small cuts, and across his brow is a deep wound that the doctors have already stitched up. I move closer and take his hand. How cold it is.
- Adam, it can’t end like this. - I say barely audibly, my voice breaks, and my body begins to tremble. - You should have told me the truth seven years ago, or found me sooner. Everything could have been different. - he lies there as if not alive, making my body feel cold. - I love you, but that doesn’t mean we have a future. Maybe it's better for us to live our own lives. - I kiss him on the cheek and exit the room.
I drive to my apartment on autopilot, change clothes, and head to the cemetery. The ceremony is quite emotional, many unfamiliar people are crying, while I simply stand and look at my parents' graves. A few people approach to express their condolences, and I mechanically thank them.
- Ami, if you need help, just call. - A voice behind me makes my body shudder. I turn around and see Korniev, but not like before. In just one day, he seems to have aged five years. His face is weary, and his eyes are red. I might even think the man has been crying.
- Do you want to help me ruin my life again, like seven years ago? - rage overshadowing all other emotions. Now that I know the truth, seeing this man is unbearable. - Or is it so your son can try to rape me again? - I shoot the last accusation out of emotion, as it’s still too fresh a wound that hurts a lot. Korniev slouches and exhales heavily.
- Daughter, I’ve made too many mistakes, and I’m not asking for forgiveness only because I know I have no right to it. - before I can say anything, the man continues. - Seven years ago, I listened to your mother and ruined my only child's life. But all I wanted was to protect you. That's why I paid for your architecture studies, even though your mother was convinced you were studying law. And that’s why I gave you that apartment, because I wanted my daughter to have everything. I didn’t know about you for 18 years, and when I found out, I was ready to kill anyone who tried to hurt you. - The man looks at me, and I see tears in his eyes. No, they don’t change anything, but the realization of how much I don’t know about my life fills me with fear.
- Just know that if you need anything, I’ll never refuse. - He hands me his business card and slips it between my fingers. He walks away, and then suddenly turns back.
- And Nazar will answer for what he has done. If I didn’t teach him, prison will teach him. - With that phrase, Korniev disappears, just like the other people around me, and I stand alone in the cemetery. My childhood, my life - one big lie. At 25, I realize I don’t know anything at all about my parents, my beloved, or myself.
I go into the apartment, grab the documents and some belongings, and on the way, I call the assistant and leave a list of tasks. I can’t manage to gather my thoughts; everything in my head buzzes from everything I’ve learned. I dial the phone number of my parents’ lawyer and ask him to arrange power of attorney for handling all matters related to the inheritance. I get out of the car, my heart beating at a frenzied pace, my hands shaking. It’s all settled; the past will remain here forever, no matter how much I try to escape it. I take a deep breath:
- The nearest ticket to London. - this is the end. I board the plane, cutting the last thread that connected me to this life...