AMANDA
It hurts to open my eyes, my head understands nothing at all, everything around is like in a fog. I try to focus my sight, but I don’t succeed on the first try. I notice that I am lying in my bedroom, which makes it a bit easier. I try to remember what happened. It’s already dark outside, and we arrived in the morning. I feel very nauseous and really want to drink. I attempt to get out of bed, but someone’s hand lies on top of me. I barely turn my head and see Adam. He’s asleep. Undressed, but in his underwear. Another attempt to get away ends in vain as the man pulls me closer to him.
- Adam, I want to drink. - I try to remove his hand, but once again I fail.
- Do you want me to die of thirst? - I say a bit louder, which makes Adam open his eyes.
- How do you feel? - his voice is too concerned.
- It would be good if you let go so I can drink some water. - The man removes his hand, but just as I’m about to get up, he hands me a bottle of water.
- Thank you. - I’m very thirsty, so this small bottle ends up empty. I place it on the bedside table and take my phone. And at that moment, my brain retrieves a memory that makes my hands go cold.
- Maybe it’s just a dream. - I mumble to myself and open the phone book. But when I see the last incoming call, I understand that it’s not a dream; it’s a real nightmare.
That morning...
Adam is making coffee, and I’m trying to suppress all my emotions because I need to hear the whole story. I don’t know what happened between them or when it occurred, and I certainly don’t understand what I have to do with it, but he will tell me everything now. Kelly enters the room, and at that moment, my phone rings.
"Mom"... Quite an unexpected call, considering that our relationship hasn’t improved in these seven years. So it’s strange that she’s calling me like this in the morning. We usually only communicate on holidays and then only through text.
- Maybe she found out that I am in town. - I don’t really believe that, but anything is possible. I really don’t want to take the call or see them. But I can’t hold back and press the answer button. The voice on the phone is clearly not my mom's:
- Good morning, are you the daughter of Ms. Valente? - A man is speaking from my mom's number, and I start to tremble a bit.
- Yes... - I barely say. - I don’t know what happened, but it definitely isn’t good.
- We regret to inform you that Mr. and Mrs. Valente were involved in an accident last night and died on the spot. Please accept our condolences. - He says something else, but I can’t hear it. The phone drops to the floor, and everything around ceases to exist. Tears flow like lava, burning my face. I vaguely understand that Adam is picking me up and asking something, but only a few words escape my lips. I can’t believe that this happened to my parents. And even if we didn’t have warm relations, I loved them, and now they are gone. I feel something inside me burst, and then everything around is engulfed in darkness. I fall into it without understanding what will happen next.
I look at the phone, then at Adam, and I don’t know what to do. He sits behind me and hugs me tightly.
- They are at the third hospital. I will be by your side. Kitten, we will get through this together. - I don’t want to hear him because the words he’s saying only emphasize the fact that my parents are gone. I have absolutely no one left. I can’t even cry; I just stare at one point because my eyes are dry like the Sahara Desert.
- Adam, leave me alone. - I don’t want anyone to see my state. I need to get through this by myself. I won’t break down in front of him.
- Amanda, you shouldn't really....
- Go home. I can handle it myself. And you should focus on your own matters and Ms. Stewart, or she will get jealous. - I don’t know why I say this, but I need him to leave. Adam looks at me for a moment longer but finally stands up, gets dressed, and leaves.
- Kitten, I’m always here for you. - With these words, the door closes, and I think about what to do next.
The next few hours feel like a fog: the trip to the hospital, settling the funeral arrangements, and ahead of me lies another difficult event – a visit to my parents’ house.
I pull up to the familiar door and realize that I haven’t been here even once in the seven years. I step into the house.
- Nothing has changed here. - My parents loved stability too much, so they never let change into their lives.
I walk to the kitchen, open the bar, and pour myself some whiskey. I don’t know why, but I down it in one gulp and fill the glass again. The hot liquid burns my mouth, then spreads like a wave of relaxation.
I sit on a chair at the table in the dining room and recall the day I decided to leave this house for good, even though I did it later than I planned.
Seven years ago...
My parents started lecturing me on how to live again. And all because Mom saw that I returned in the morning and not alone.
- Mom, I’m already eighteen, and I can decide for myself who I want to spend my time with. - This woman looks at me as if I told her I’m injecting heroin.
- Amanda, I don’t even want to hear it. You’re gallivanting around with unexplained people, and we will have to deal with the consequences later. - Dad silently agrees with Mom, nodding his head.
- I’ll handle the consequences on my own. It doesn’t concern you. - They really annoyed me with their constant control.
- Enough. After the weekend, we’ll go to the country house, and then you’ll go to study in England, - they still believe that I will become a lawyer, unaware that I applied to the same city but for architecture, and I got accepted.
- What if I want to stay here? - In the last month, I’ve seriously been thinking about not leaving Adam, and since he can't go, that means I’ll stay.
- Not up for discussion. - Mom just destroys me with her gaze as Dad goes to his office.
- It’s not up to you to decide. - I slam the door and head to meet Alia, who’s waiting for me at our usual hangout spot. I hear Mom scream behind me.
- Where do you think you're going? It’s night outside. - When will this woman calm down? It’s only 10 PM, and I’m far from twelve.
Alia, as usual, is at the bar in a black top and a short black skirt. Seeing me, she immediately smiles. I hadn’t thought at all about what to wear today, so I’m in a black romper with shorts on the bottom and straps on the top.
- Hi, beautiful. - My friend hands me a glass and examines me. - Something happened?
I take a sip and finally exhale.
- It’s been a tough day. My parents threw a fit again. I’m shaking from nerves. - I sip a bit more of the drink and look around. Adam knows where I am, so I expect we’ll meet soon.
- I have a remedy for nerves. - I don’t really like this, but Alia pulls out a pack of cigarettes and offers me one.
- Not sure it’s a good idea. - I haven’t tried smoking in eighteen years.
- It helps me. - My friend lights the cigarette and exhales the smoke.
- Give me one. - I light up, and before I can even understand what I’m doing, I feel a whisper near my ear:
- I will never kiss a girl who smokes. - I turn my head sharply and nearly brush my lips against Adam’s.
- Looks like I’m out of place here. - Alia disappears, or at least I think so because I can barely hear anything when he’s so close.
- I needed to calm down. - I let the cigarette smolder in the ashtray and wrap my arms around his neck. - I missed you.
He doesn’t respond, but kisses me. And that’s enough for this entire day to simply vanish. It’s always so calm and safe beside him.
We leave the club and get into the car. I tell him everything that happened at home, about school, about not wanting to leave him. He quietly listens until all my words run out, and only then does he speak.
- I will always be here for you. Do you want me to go with you? Do you want me to take you with me? - And it’s after these words that I realize: my home is with this man.
I didn’t even notice how I finished the second glass.
- Ami, stop. We didn’t come here to drink. - Though for the first time in a long while, I want to drink and forget everything. But the problems won’t just disappear from that, and then I’ll have to deal with a hangover.
I stand up and head to Dad’s office. I need to find the number of our family notary to sort out all the inheritance details, the funeral, etc. Everything in the office remains unchanged; I sit down at the desk, where, as always, there’s our family photo, by the way, the last shared one, when I was 12 years old. Back then, I still believed we had a wonderful family and my parents were doing everything for me. But later, I realized that their care was suffocating me and keeping me in a cage. I sift through some documents on the desk, and when I find nothing, I go to the safe. I used to know the password; I once peeked, and since my parents rarely changed anything, the code works, and the safe unlocks.
What am I looking for in there? I don’t know yet, but I take all the folders and sit down at the table. Maybe there’s a will, the last wishes of my parents. Well, they are lawyers, surely it should be somewhere.
But aside from personal documents and some contracts, I find nothing. And when I want to return everything back, at the bottom of the compartment, I spot a large envelope I hadn’t noticed before. Written on it is one word in capital letters "