Cassian's POV
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ryder walked towards me with narrowed eyes, voice harsh but full of doubt. He looked at me warily as if waiting for me to burst into a fit of laughter at any given moment.
I could only look down in shame. I never thought things would come to this. Her not feeling the bond and everything ending was what I thought I wanted in the past. I'm sure my past self would be ecstatic if he could hear this information but I cannot feel that way now. I'm utterly devastated. There's a heartstopping pain in my chest and it hurts every time I breathe.
"I cannot fucking believe this!" Ryder raked a hand through his hair before tugging at it in frustration. "How did you even manage to fuck it up like this just a few days after marking her, Cassian?" He seethed.
I closed my eyes and breathed in a lungful of air before talking. "I just told you how,"
"Look, if you weren't my alpha I would've whooped your ass, you fucker. I just…you're a fucking freak for doing that to her. Goddess, I want to slap you so bad–"
"Ry," I looked at him with a defeated expression. My wolf didn't even lift a finger at the disrespect we were getting from our beta. He probably thinks I deserve it.
"What?" He snapped.
"How do I fix this?"
"Like hell, I know!" He scoffed. "This is your second mate and you managed to fuck it up like this and now you're asking me, who has no mate, for advice? Well, my advice is to go fuck yourself,"
"Ryder, I'm serious." I sighed. "I never knew it would affect her like this. I just wanted to apologize to Avery because I felt like I moved on too fast."
"Well, that apology felt like a slap to your mate, you idiot. That girl had to chase after you and beg you to get marked. You know that's not how it's done. It's an alpha's job to chase after their mate and propose for mating."
"She's young, Ry. I've told you this before. I didn't want this to happen because I didn't feel like she was ready." I defended myself.
"You only talk about her age when it's to defend yourself for hurting her. You never think about her age otherwise." He scoffed.
"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms, growing agitated with each passing moment.
"Don't you think she was too young to be punished and casted away for being a rogue? Don't you think she was too young for you to make her feel shitty and undeserving of being in this pack even after she was married to you? Don't you think she's too young to deny and deprive her of all affection just because you don't have the guts to express what you really feel? You made her go through hell and back at such a young age, Cassian. You cannot use her age as a reason for messing up like this."
Ryder's words felt like cold water being poured over my head. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water, wanting my mind to come up with something to defend myself but my tongue felt heavy in my mouth and I couldn't utter a single word. All this time I was blaming her for my mistakes. Now everything has backfired and I'm lost. What can I even do to make this right?
I paced around the room and pulled my hair apart in frustration. I need to find a way. I messed up big time and if I don't fix this, it'll cost me a lot more than I thought it would. "How do I fix this, Ry?"
Ryder gave me a pointed look. "We cannot fix this before addressing the root of the problem, Cass. So let me ask you one question first. Do you even like her?" He crossed his arms. "Ignore the bond. Ignore the mark and everything and just tell me if you like her as a person. Imagine if you're one of those humans, can you see yourself falling in love with her just because you like her as a person?"
I paused for a minute. I've never thought of it like that. Every time I tried to analyze if she was a suitable partner for me, the things I gave the most importance to were the skills and qualities she had that could benefit the pack. I never thought of anything beyond that.
"Answer me, Cassian. Can you see yourself falling in love with her like that?" Ryder pressed again.
"I…It's hard to imagine that, Ry. I've always thought of everything as the alpha of this pack. I never gave priority to what I felt as a person."
"It's not hard. You're just unwilling." Ryder sighed. "You're getting on my nerves, Cass. Stop being a stone-headed alpha. You're better than this. It's just a simple question." Ryder's glare was enough to pierce a hole into my soul.
"I think I do…" I gulped. "I mean I wouldn't go for someone young as her if I was a human but she's…. she's smart and kind. She's also daring and compassionate like that time when she rescued those kids from the hunters. She's fun to be around because she's playful at times. She's beautiful too…so yeah… I think I would've fallen for her if I was a human," I finished and then looked up at Ryder to see him grinning ear to ear. "What?" I frowned, staring at him skeptically.
"Oh, Cassian, you're so terribly in love and just so blissfully unaware that it's actually hilarious." He barked out a laugh, causing my frown to deepen.
"What shit are you spouting?"
"Shit? So, are you saying that you do not like her?" He raised a brow.
"No, that's not what I'm saying–look, Ry, I…I like her. That's the thing. I like her. But I just don't know how to express it. I wanted to express it but I felt so wrong for liking her. I was having an inner battle but now I'm in the clear. At least I think I am. I want to make this right. I want my mate to know that I don't regret marking her. That making her mine is something I did because I wanted to and not because my instincts led me to it. I need to express my affection and fix this mess, Ry. I need your help with that." I looked at my best friend expectantly, hoping he understood my situation.
Ryder hummed and then started pacing around the room as if he's thinking of ways to help me. "Things are a lot more complicated now, Cass. Especially since you've pushed her wolf into hiding." He said, causing a jab of pain to pass through my chest. I couldn't help but look down in shame, feeling terrible at doing something like that to my own mate. "We have to get her wolf out first. That will solve half of the problem."
"But how?"
"Hmm…why don't we try courting?"
"Courting? We're already mated and married." I said as a matter of fact and raised my brows in question, waiting for him to make his point.
"I know but you never courted her. Every omega gets courted before marriage and mating ceremony. You couldn't court her because… we'll…your situation was a peculiar one. But that doesn't mean you can't court her now. Courting is something that's very important to omegas. Ivy might not know it since she grew up without a pack to introduce that custom to her but her wolf will know it instinctively. It builds their self-esteem and assures them that the alpha courting them really wants to be their mate. It's one of the biggest steps in building a relationship." Ryder explained even though I know all this.
"I think you should court her, Cassian. It'll help to soften her wolf and show your sincerity to her. It'll make her realize that you're serious about being with her. Don't you think that's a good idea?"
I bit my lips, thinking about it for a moment. "It's good but…don't you think it's weird to court after mating?"
"What's weird? You're courting your mate. What's weird about that? Stop overthinking and just do it if you want to fix this because that's the only way I see right now."
I sighed. "Fine. I'll do it." I said and nodded. "I should start with gifts, right?"
"Yes," Ryder smiled. "I recommend starting with food. That's the best and most effective way to start. No one can resist food."
"Okay, I'll hunt for her then. Do you think she'll like it if I hunt a bear? She can take the fur and sew it for winter."
"Uhh…don't go overboard in the beginning. Start from a hare of something small. That's the best way to let her know that you're courting her."
"A hare? I'm more capable than that" I huffed.
Ryder scoffed and rolled his eyes at me. "Everyone knows that, Cass. I know it hurts your alpha ego but something large as a bear shoved to her feet might be overwhelming for her so go for something small. Remember that you aim to get on your mate's good side and not to show off your abilities."
"Fine," I grunted. "I'll start tomorrow. Hopefully, this will work."
"I'm sure it'll work, Cass. You just have to do it like you mean it and not mess up. This is your last chance. Any more of trying your luck might destroy both of your lives." Ryder warned with a serious tone that I've only heard him use a few times.
"I mean it, Ry. I won't hurt her anymore. I swear to the moon goddess that I will protect her till I take my last breath. I've already messed up enough."