Her voice pulled me in. I was on the verge of my self-control, barely holding onto my last restraints. But then I felt hands on me. Soft hands wrapped around my back, effortlessly pulling down my bulky body as if my strength was nothing, to begin with.
My lips clashed with the soft ones of my mate's, causing her to release a groan which I couldn't help but instinctively swallow. I was too shocked to move. Never in my dreams have I thought she was this brave enough. Then again I'm stupid for thinking she's all innocent. This was the same girl who straddled me and tried to strip on top of me.
However, she wasn't very skillful in kissing. She was barely pecking me on the lips and if I wasn't frenzied by all these thoughts and feelings rushing into my head, I would've laughed out loud at her pathetic attempt to kiss me.
Her hands were in my hair, relentlessly tugging and gripping on it. Sparks shot through my body when her tongue darted out to lick my lips. That's when my last restraint broke.
My wolf was on the surface and before I even knew my hands were gripping her dainty waist as my tongue plowed into her mouth. If heaven had a taste, this must be what it is like. In a second, I was addicted. Breathless and almost melting.
Soft. Everything about her felt so soft. Her lips and her whimpers. I was bewitched by them and for the first time, I didn't care. At least for that moment, I didn't want to care. I've been holding back for so long. I controlled myself and thought about the good and bad every moment I was with her. But this time, not a single thought could be formed in my head.
Mate! Mate! Mate!
My mind chanted like a mantra.
I rubbed my tongue on the roof of her mouth, causing her to moan. That was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Her scent was drowning me and I had no complaints. I loved it.
The small whimpers and moans that left her mouth made my dick hard so much that if I wasn't already drenched from head to toe, I would be worried about how wet my pants would be. Oh goodness, I wanted to fuck her so bad. Strip her off everything and mark every inch of her delicate body as she called my names over and over again.
Her hands tugged on my hair harshly and freed her lips from mine as she panted to catch her breath. My hazy gaze fell on her half-lidded eyes before it moved to her swollen lips.
Then it dawned on me what I had done. I was off of her in a second, raking a hand through my hair as my mind finally opened up to let in logical thoughts. I can't believe I lost control like that. She's just a kid. I cannot—
"C-Cassian…"
Her voice sent a shiver down my spine. I didn't even turn to look at her. I couldn't. If I did, I might lose it again.
"Get up. Let's go back to the pack house."
___
I can't believe I kissed her.
*Punch!*
What was I thinking?
*Punch!*
Was it because of my wolf?
*Punch!*
I shouldn't have gone on a run with her.
*Punch!*
"Fuck!"
*Punch!*
I paused when I heard a cracking sound. The heavy bag broke, causing the contents inside it to fall to the floor. I clicked my tongue in annoyance before stepping back and taking off the gloves.
"Shit, Cass, I told you to go easy on that. That's the second bag this month!" Ryder cussed me out as soon as he entered the room.
"Sorry, I zoned out," I muttered a half-assed apology while I wiped my sweat off.
"The kids needed that to train, dude. What's up with you today? You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a little stressed out."
"Is your headache getting worse? You should go see Lilly. The healers are here to take care of us."
"It's not that." I sighed.
"You need a check-up either way. Enough of your training. Go see her on your way to the packhouse. You need some rest." Ryder started pushing my shoulder to kick me out of the room.
I shook my head. "You're always a pain in the ass." I groaned.
"At least I'm not as bad as the pain in your head."
___
"Alpha, I think it's your rut…" Lilly nervously smiled after she heard all of my symptoms.
"What?" I barked out in surprise. "No way. That's impossible. I haven't had it since…"
"Alpha…you have a mate now. It's inevitable."
"But-But the omega is the one who usually goes into heat at first, right? Why is my rut earlier than hers? What's going on?"
"That's…the usual case but yours is an unusual one. Umm…since this is your second mate, your body is forcing it. Your wolf is on the edge and that's another cause too. This is completely normal and is nothing to worry about. It's just that your rut might come before your mate's heat and you need to be prepared for that."
I raked a hand through my hair. What the hell? Rut? I haven't had my rut for years!
"Oh, and your rut will be painful as the first time you had it so it's better to spend it with your mate."
Great! I'm fucked.
"Can you tell when it's going to come?"
Lilly pursed her lips. "Any minute. Uhh…your body is pretty pent up so it could happen any minute."
I let out a groan and stood up as soon as I heard that.
"Alpha, here." Lilly pushed a pouch of herbs toward me. "These are some herbs to give temporary relief from the headache and other problems. You can take this when it gets worse."
I looked at it for a moment and wordlessly grabbed it and stuffed it into my pocket. Muttering a small thank you, I decided to leave the place.
This is all ridiculous!
Why can't the moon goddess let us move at our own pace? We're already stuck together. Why does she have to force the bond?
I cursed under my breath as I walked. My mother gave me an odd look as soon as I entered the pack house. "What's up with you?" She frowned, throwing the newspaper in her hands onto the sofa as she got up. "You weren't this moody in the morning." She stated, her curious eyes scanning me from head to toe. "Did something happen when you went on a run with her? Or is it something pack related?"
I pressed my tongue against my cheek, a little annoyed at her questions. "Mom, please. I came here for some peace, not to get interrogated." I huffed.
"Wow, blame me for worrying about my son," She rolled her eyes.
I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry…I just need some peace. I'm going to take a shower." I took some time to calm myself.
My mother nodded. "Come to me if you want to talk about it, okay?"
"Okay,"
—-
I need to get away. I don't think there's any other way. If I stay close to her any more than this, my rut will come sooner than I think. Should I move into the southern cabin? I could stay there till my rut is over. I need to stock up the necessities there for a week.
I need to talk to Ryder.
I picked up my phone and called my beta. Miraculously he picked up at the first ring.
"Cass, what is it?"
"Ry, send someone to clean up the southern cabin and stock up the necessities in there for a week."
"Huh? What happened? Who's going to stay there?"
"Me." I sighed.
Ryder was silent for a moment before he spoke up. "Cass, what's going on?"
"Uhh…I talked to Lilly as you told me to and…and she said I'm going to get my rut…"
"Huh? Oh…wow…Congratulations?"
"What's there to congratulate, you idiot?" I huffed.
"I don't know…you have a mate so it's going to be fun, right?" Ryder asked and I could already picture the confused look on his face even though he wasn't in front of me.
"It's not. I'm not spending it with her."
"What? Then who are you going to–"
"Alone. I'm spending it alone, Ry."
"Cass, are you fucking crazy? Isn't it painful? You have a mate, man! Why are you spending it alone? I swear to god, you're fucked in the head—"
"She's not ready, you fucker. How do you think I would behave when I'm in my rut? Do you really think she could handle something like that? Not to say that she hasn't even got her first heat."
I could hear Ryder sigh on the other side. "Did you talk to her about this?"
"No…"
"You need to, Cass. What's she going to think when she learns that you're planning to spend your rut away from her?"
"I don't know. What do you expect me to say? I can't just casually talk to her about my rut."
"You can. That's what communication is in a relationship but good goddess, you really suck at it."
"Hey, I didn't call you to roast me." I huffed.
"I will take care of it. When do you want it set up?"
"My rut will come any minute so set it up as soon as possible."
"You mean today?"
"Yes,"
"Oh, I hate you, asshole."
"I'm really envious of you, you jerk. You don't have to go through this pain."
"Yeah, and it comes with a price." Ryder's voice turned bleak and I felt like a jerk for saying that.
"Hey…"
"Forget it. I'll make it ready by tonight. You owe me one for this, got it?"
"Got it."