‘What happened? Is Rob okay? Is Abby?’
‘Calm down. Now hush, my dear.’ She took hold of Rose’s now shaking hands and pulled her towards the kitchen. Making kissing noises for Muffin to follow them. The smell of baking bread failed to wash over her with any calming effect
‘Both are fine. It was that stupid wretched woman and her love of smashing the blooming vases.’ She sat Rose in a chair and moved away to fill the kettle. ‘Cut her arm open quite badly and left blood all over the lounge rug that I’m going to have to clean up.’
‘Oh my god!’ She laid her face on the table, suddenly feeling faint. Muffin sensing her distress, pawed at her ankle before lying across her feet protectively. Small whimpers as he continued to glance up at her.
‘It’s okay, dear. Rob was quick off the mark. Bound it up and held it tight. Abby had been out here when she heard the smash and the screams in the kitchen with me. She helped get her in his car, and they rushed off. Abby told me to man the phone for her call.’
She placed some cups out neatly, preparing them for boiling water. Rose could hear every movement and noise, still holding her head on the table while nausea and dizziness passed. Her breathing was shallow, and her thoughts frantic.
What the hell had that stupid woman done? Oh, my god...Rob.
She felt sick to her stomach, realising that this was what he had been afraid of all along.
‘Quite a bit of drama. Abby said she would call with an update as soon as possible.’
Rose lifted her head, unsure how to feel. She took the mug of tea gratefully and sipped down its hot liquid. Thankful for the excuse not to talk, grateful for a task that focused her frantic brain.
Alice was clearing plates and washing dishes in the sink, chatting away about the state of the lounge and speculating on this morning’s row. Rose watched her in disbelief, almost deaf to her words and lost in her scrambled brain.
How could she be so calm?
‘It’s odd, but I assumed things were long dead with those two... But he had obviously had her stay the night in his bed, judging by the mess, the extra towels on the bathroom floor, and the two plates of breakfast left sitting on his bed.’
Rose felt her face colour and tried not to react. Willing the older woman to stop talking.
‘Not that it’s my business, even if it’s just sex. He should never confuse things that way with her. It explains all the recent outbursts if he’s been sleeping with her again and leading her astray.’ Alice carried on, oblivious to Rose’s pale pallor and wide eyes or the way she was staring at her hands in a bid to stay quiet.
‘She thinks he’s seeing another woman behind her back.’ Alice looked her way with a raised eyebrow. Rose almost choked on her tea. The flush of guilt crept up her neck.
‘I think she might be right, you know?’ Alice winked merrily. ‘Should have seen the mess of his mother’s bedroom. Someone had certainly been having a good time in there last night. And it was not red hair on the pillows. No, it was a brunette. I know it was Rob who had used the room, as only he and Abby had keys beside me. It stays locked, and Abby has jet-black hair.’
Rose inwardly cringed. Plastering a smile on her deeply blushing face and wriggling uncomfortably in her seat. Making sure not to draw attention to her hair by touching it.
‘Not that I blame him, mind. He’s repeatedly told her that there’s nothing serious between them. He’s dated women in the past on and off, but I don’t think she had the inkling as she does now, following him around moping and crying. He needs to get on with his life and just be done with her. A nice girl and a family. Not all this drama.’
‘Hmm.’ Was the only reply Rose could formulate for fear her voice would betray her. Her head was racing, and her face was burning with shame and guilt.
The phone shrieked like a welcome alarm on the kitchen wall, and Rose resisted the urge to jump up and answer. Instead, having to sit and pretend she was not dying to grab at it. Alice was so slow to respond, drying her hands first, that she was almost in hysterics with anticipation.
Greeting Abby on the line, she hummed and ahhed as she listened and asked some quick questions on Morag’s state. Rose was tapping both foot and hand against the table, trying not to chew her nails or wrestle the phone from her.
‘Oh, and Rose has come by to see you.’ She added as an afterthought, stopping to listen to the response. Smiling, she turned, holding out the cordless handset towards her. Rose wanted to snatch it manically, but instead, she smiled and deliberately took it gently and calmly. Her hands were still trembling.
‘Rose?’
‘Hey, Abs. Yeah, it’s me. Alice told me what happened.’ Rose gushed down the phone, finally relieved to have made contact with one of them.
‘Oh my god, Rose, it was awful. So much blood. I nearly puked!’ Her voice was weak and shaky, and she was in obvious distress.
‘How is she now? How’s Rob?’ Rose couldn’t conceal her concern, tears prickling her eyes and her hands shaking violently.
‘They have her in with them. We were not allowed past the waiting room, so we don’t know. Rob has been trying to find out for the last hour, but no word. She’s in surgery, apparently. I had to find a payphone as my mobile is dead and he doesn’t even have his here. He’s quiet... Worried, I guess, and not saying much.’
‘I have been so worried when I didn’t hear from either of you. I didn’t know what to think.’
She saw Alice raise her eyebrows in interest from the corner of her eye.
‘I’ll tell Rob you’re at the house. He will want to call. He’s been major stressed at not being able to contact you. Neither of us had your home phone number or mobile with us, and your cottage isn’t listed.’ Abby sounded tired and so far away. The hospital was a good thirty to forty-minute drive away.
‘Okay. Please keep us updated, Abs. I’ll stay here until you’re back, so you can call me so that he can call me.’ Rose tried to lower her voice, but she could see Alice had the hearing of a hawk.
‘Okay. I better go. I’m running out of money. I’ll call soon when I get more change.’
They said their goodbyes, and Rose quietly returned the phone to its cradle. She was relieved that the people she loved were okay but frustrated at not being able to talk freely or to him. Knowing he was okay, she just wanted to hear his voice so badly.
Alice smiled and offered comfort about no news sometimes being no big deal. Busy hospitals and short-staffed. Waiting times being hours long. Rose listened, only half taking it in and drinking the new mug of tea placed before her on the scrubbed pine table, unaware that she had already emptied her last one. The older lady began making some homemade soup in silence as Rose sat gazing blankly, obviously lost in thought.
She jumped when the phone rang again and without thinking jumped up to answer it, saying his name before he spoke. Not caring that Alice's expression was that of someone putting two and two together and getting a satisfied conclusion of four. A knowing smile spread across her face.
‘Baby, I am so glad to hear your voice.’ He sounded tired and stressed. ‘I’m so sorry about standing you up. I had no idea how to get hold of you to let you know.’ He sounded tired, exhausted if she was being honest and yet relieved to hear her finally.
‘It’s okay. My parents bailed on me with hangovers. I’m seeing them tonight. I am just so relieved to know what’s going on.’ Her voice was strained, hushing to avoid Alice’s ears and desperately wanting to be able to talk freely.
‘I just want to be there with you right now, wrapped in your arms and lost in the feel of you, baby.’ His husky tone and betrayal of emotion sent tingles along her spine. Rose's face and neck warmed, and she tried to hide by turning towards the kitchen door, aware Alice had become extremely interested in this phone call.
‘Umm, so any news on Morag?’ Rose was trying to make it clear she wasn’t able to talk.
‘I guess you’re not alone?’ Rob was quick on the uptake.
‘Sure, Alice is taking great care of me, plying me with tea.’ Brightly casting a smile towards the lady, making it clear that she could not openly say what she wanted to. After a pause, he told her to take the phone to his room, telling her she would find something for him.
‘Okay, sure...Uhuh, I’ll go now.’
She covered the phone, telling Alice she had to retrieve something for Rob and headed off down the small hall, motioning for Muffin to stay under the table. She fumbled with his bedroom door handle. Once inside, concealed in the familiar closed room and free from prying ears, she sat on the bed and sighed with relief. It felt better being surrounded by his smell, his things, Away from eyes and ears.
‘I’m alone now. God, Rob, I was so worried when I didn’t hear from you. I felt so frantic. What happened?’ Her voice was shaking, matching her hands, and at least here, she could be herself.
‘I’m sorry, baby...It was all my fault, Rose. I told her I was seeing someone, that I was in love with someone.’ He sounded odd, tired and deflated. ‘I told her I couldn’t go on like this anymore and that she had to stop and let me go.’ He sighed down the line, obviously torn up from events.
‘She smashed something? Flipped out?’ Rose questioned quietly, trying to picture it, sensing he needed to get this off his chest.
‘I was hungover and pissed that here I was dealing with this shit again, making you hide out like some dirty bit on the side in my room, and I was tactless. I spat it out in anger. I handled it badly.’ His voice had an edge, stressed anger, maybe annoyance at how it had panned out.
‘Rob, you can’t blame yourself. You are stuck in an awful situation, and you have the patience of a saint dealing with her this way all the time.’ Rose soothed, her voice strained to avoid crying for him.
He sighed. Murmuring that he had no patience left anymore. His unfamiliar tone brought a lump to her throat at his obvious lacklustre. He was spent. He sounded so fed up with everything, and she ached to hold him and wipe it all away.
‘Tell me what happened. Talk to me, Rob. I want to hear your voice. I miss you.’
‘I miss you more.’ That cheeky hint of a smile invaded his tone for a second, followed by another heavy sigh.
‘You know she burst in manically going off on one this morning? Well, she carried on after, ranting and raving and smashing another vase in the hall. She was pissed about my distance at the dance, pissed that my phone was off all night.’ He sighed again. ‘Same shit, just another day.’
‘She was drunk. She drove over here in that state?’ Rose questioned in disbelief.
‘Yeah, another thing she spat at me, accusing me of not caring about, that she had to drive over drunk because I wouldn’t answer her calls. She wanted to know who my whore was, how long I had been cheating on her, and I couldn’t be arsed with the shit anymore. I lost my temper and told her to fuck off.’ There was a silent pause and then a sarcastic laugh. ‘I just realised how done with all of it I was, how she made me see how differently I felt for you at that moment. I told her to get back on her meds and sleep it off.’ ‘I’m guessing she didn’t take that well at all?’ Rose sighed, knowing the gentle handling he normally displayed had been lacking.
‘No. She started sobbing and pulling at me to hold her, trying to force me into an embrace. All I could think about was you and how much it upset you, letting her paw at me. I shoved her away, not wanting anyone else wrapped up in my arms beside you. I couldn’t do it anymore, Rose, the pretence, the patience I have had to have and all the while, you have put up with so god damn much.’
‘It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make her this way.’ Rose tried to soothe him, but his voice was still husky and strained.
‘She asked me if I still loved her. I was pissed and agitated, and I told her I didn’t. Not anymore. That my heart belonged to the girl I wanted to be with, and she was waiting for me. That I needed to go.’ Again, he paused. She could imagine him rubbing his face with tiredness, maybe even scratching his fingers through that dark-cropped hair. ‘She flipped out. Threw things, attempted to slap me and just kept screaming abuse at me. She walked off, pulling at her hair and sobbing... I thought she would calm down but instead turned to the nearest side table, wiping the contents off with a crashing sweep. Glass and ceramic smashing and flying in every direction, pushing over tables. Screaming out loud how much she hated me. I tried to grab her from behind, but she broke free, lashing out at me, the air, and anything close. Like a wild animal, feral and vicious and hell-bent on causing harm to anything that came near her.’
‘Jesus. I have no clue what to say to that.’ Rose’s face flushed, hit with visions of Morag in all her fiery fury and tear-stained manic behaviour. She shivered as it came clear and pushed it away.
‘She ran forward when she squirmed loose, falling to her knees. She landed in front of the long, low glass coffee table in the centre of the couches and, without hesitation, just smashed her fists and arms through. It was like she had just lost the plot. I saw it happen in slow motion, yet I couldn’t do anything about it. She completely just lost it. Then there was blood, a heck of a lot of blood, pouring everywhere, and I just went into autopilot. I don’t even remember getting her here.’ By the end of his sentence, his voice was strained, a sign he was getting emotional. Neither said anything nor made any noise for a moment, lost in the seriousness of it.
‘Baby.’ Was the only thing Rose could finally say, aware of tears falling down her face, and she sniffed them back.
‘I haven’t seen her since they took her and told me she would most likely go straight into surgery. I have no idea what’s going on. It was bad Rose. The cuts were deep and long. She lost a huge amount of blood. During the first hour here, all I could do was console Abby. I think she’s in shock, and well, she’s never been good with blood, and I had her holding Morag’s wrists all the way here while I drove like a crazy man. I am pretty sure I was still too drunk to be fucking driving; so stupid with my baby sister in the car.’
‘Rob. I don’t know what to say.’ She was wiping the tears, feeling a huge amount of guilt wracking her. She just wanted to be there with him, wrapping her arms around him tightly and convincing him that this was not his fault. He sounded so defeated and deflated.
‘You don’t need to. Just hearing your voice is enough. I miss you so badly right now. I would give anything to be laid in bed with you and have none of this ever happen.’ His voice was strained. He sounded ravaged, which was never a good sign for him, the master of hiding his feelings normally.
‘I miss you too. I want to be there with you so much right now...What happens now? Do you wait? They have given no clue as to what’s happening?’ Rose tried to be logical and calm, focusing on details to still her washing machine nerves.
‘They took her into emergency surgery, I know that much. I’m guessing the operation depends on how much they have to repair. How easily they can stop the bleeding. It wasn’t just one or two huge lacerations Rose. There was a mess of slices and cuts on both arms, wrists and hands. That was a toughened table. It should never have broken as easily as it did.’
Rose felt physically sick. This was all her fault. Her silence told him what she was thinking, and he gently chided her for feeling responsible. Assuring her this had been no one’s fault, his at most, but mainly a freak accident.
‘I should have handled things better with her long before now. I should have cut the ties years ago and let her move on.’ He said regretfully.
‘You didn’t know back then that it would evolve into how she is now. You only did what you thought was best.’ She didn’t want him to take the blame right now, whether it was true or not.
‘I should never have made you hide. I should have told her from the start that I was falling for you. Been honest about what you were to me, and maybe it would have been different.’
‘Or maybe you would have sat in the hospital back then instead of now.’ Rose interjected, knowing that this could have happened either way. Morag was more than in love with him, she was obsessively glued to his very being, and she would never have taken it well at any time.
‘No matter this outcome, I’m not returning to how it was. I told you it would be different, and regardless of Morag, it will be. I won’t hide us anymore, Rose. I want the world to know how crazy I am for you, and nothing will stand in my way.’
His words soothed her. His steady manner returned and voice steadying. Calming her tears and making her long for his presence even more. Even when surrounded by the chaos, he still made her feel better. Her rock.
When they regretfully ended the call, he told her he loved her. He had run out of change, and Abby had appeared, motioning him from the door. He had to go. Rose felt so torn. Not wanting to hang up but wanting him to go and see if there was word. Aching that he had to go, she told him she would be waiting for him no matter how long it took. Waiting here for him. He said to her that was the only thing keeping him going, and they disconnected.
Wandering back from his room, she found Alice had moved to the grand lounge. The vacuum noise hummed loudly in the large room, and she followed, unable to be alone.
The sight before her caused a fresh batch of tears. The broken chaos around the side of the room and the centre smashed table. Alice was concentrating on the small trinkets and frames below the huge window, which had been Morag’s first wave of destruction. She was using the hoover nozzle to collect the finely broken glass and china from the surface, picking through and removing large chunks and dropping them into a basket on the floor. Seeing Rose, she cut off the hoover.
‘She did it properly this time, didn’t she?’ She gave her a supportive half smile. Rose nodded in response, her eyes resting on the pool of blood by the table legs and the sheer volume of it. Causing her to shiver and wrap her arms around herself; the splattering and smears on the metal frame and the glass on the floor below. Fixated and unaware of the fresh tears rolling down her face.
Alice was immediately by her side, offering a handful of tissues from a carved gold box.
’Don’t you be blaming yourself now.’ She patted her back gently and gave her a half hug.
Rose glanced at the wise woman questioningly
‘Oh, Rose. I know it’s none of my business. ‘She lifted a tendril of Rose’s hair and winked. ‘Pretty brown hair you have matches that pretty face.’ A knowing smile followed it.
She felt her cheeks colour.
‘I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. It’s pretty obvious now. The way he lights up whenever you’re around. How he reacts at the mere mention of you and how you reacted that morning when Morag flipped out. I have seen him with women before Rose, in passing, and I have never seen him linger on every word the way he does with you. I’m just amazed I didn’t put the puzzle together before.’ Her little speech interrupted by the doorbell, she squeezed Rose’s arm and left her alone. Left alone with her thoughts and the sight before her.