Being sober among drunk people was getting dull. She needed a little boost to get through the party and get her happiness back on. Right now, she needed some merry, downing it quickly and discarding it on a table.
Abby saw her and screamed in delight, yanking her onto the dance floor and immediately assaulting her with a shimmying butt-to-butt rubbing in time to the music. Rose slapped her on the rear and shoved her off laughing. She could feel the electric excitement returning with the beat of a fabulous song.
A couple of the men with Damien were dancing nearby and turned to encourage a group dance; Abby immediately jumped on one of her cousins' back and rubbed his hair messily, shouting something about cowboys. She had been downing shots in Rose’s absence. Rose tried to stay a little demurer, but with the blink of an eye, one of the men had sidled closer. Scooping his arm around her waist and trying to thrust a thigh between her knees, and throwing her about like a rag. He seemed intent on some groin-to-groin rotating.
For the love of god!! Were all his friends in heat?
Trying to untangle herself was almost impossible. As soon as she managed to turn away, making it look like an expert dance move, the other guy moved in, nearly pinning her bust to his chest and tipping her back. His hands slid over her back and ass.
Overly sexual dance moves were not her forte, and she had no clue how to get out of this. She immediately felt her skin crawl with the unwanted touch. She was internally cringing every time she felt a hand placed on her seductively or her body was crushed to his in a manner befitting the bedroom. She wanted to scream.
Drunken north men with hot blood and absolutely no inhibitions. It was like being back in the stone age with cavemen trying to drag women back to their lairs. Though seemingly oblivious, Abby was still perched on the back of a rugged-looking male and bounced around like a child. Screaming in delight, her hands waving in the air in time to the music and singing along wholeheartedly.
There was no way out, and Rose felt her panic rising. The crowds were moving in as this song was pretty damn popular and alcohol-fueled. Dancing always encouraged some pelvic grinding from randy drunks, and she felt like they were closing in around her. His hands devoured her no matter how much she tried to pull them off. Even slapping him away only seemed to encourage his antics. He was like a man-child, and this was all a game of ‘grope the lassie’. She shrugged and twisted and tried with all her might to untangle herself from the mess of hands and body. She managed to break free, turning to face her assaulter.
It was in an instant. The body that flattened against her back. The hands found her hips and moved her in time to the music, away from creeping hands and overzealous pelvic thrusts that she instantly knew his touch. The familiar heat and slip into safety and security like a warm wave had smoothed over her, shielding her from unwanted attention and creating a haven. Her eyes closed at the sensation of having him touch her again.
How much she had longed to feel him around her again.
He was saving her. She couldn’t be mad at the way he was doing it. The effortless rhythm and easy way he was dancing behind her, holding her to him, so it was clear to his ‘mates’ she was off limits. They took the hint, turning to another gyrating woman nearby and leaving him to carry on moving with her. The song was the kind that demanded sexual swaying and a lot of suggestive shimmies and grinding. She didn’t want to turn and look at him or pull away. She just wanted to pretend this was okay and enjoy the moment. Not break the spell with reality. Pretend for the sake of being saved. Relieved that he had come to her this time.
He slid her up and down, moving in time, his jaw against her cheek. His breath was on her face. He was making every inch of her tingle by being held against him. Her back against his chest and her head against his throat and jaw. Her hair fell around her shoulders, the pin-up do, long falling. It was the most erotic, highly charged feeling in the world. She knew it was stupid, but for once, her mind was not battling her emotions, and the longing to stay this way was winning out.
The darkness of the hall and the flashing lights somehow made this okay. Surreal. Getting lost in the music, she lifted her arms, letting his hands slide up from her waist, scuffing the edges of her breasts and up her outstretched arms. Her senses reacted with hot, burning sensations going off inside of her. He turned her, her arms falling around his neck as he, Patrick-Swayze-style, moved into her. His mouth coming dangerously close, his eyes focused heavily on hers. Pushing her thighs apart with his and moving into her snugly, a perfect fit, their bodies sexually moving ‘a la Dirty Dancing.’ She could sense the hardness against her pelvis that he was just as turned on as she was, yet neither broke away.
He had moves; she would give him that much. An unexpectedly great dancer.
Fully controlling her body with every tiny movement, she was breathless and lost in the moment. He tilted her back easily, and his breath skirted her cleavage. Rose was ignoring the screaming voice within that this was not what they had agreed on, that this was only going to hurt her more in the long run, but It was over too soon, as the tempo changed and the bodies around them cheered and began jumping up and down to a new dance beat.
He still had her against his hard-taut form, their chests rapidly moving and their eyes locked. He didn’t speak, just a final stroke on her cheek with the back of his fingers. His breath tinged with alcohol. His mouth moved dangerously close to her lips for a mere second until she could feel his shallow breath against them, her lips parting in anticipation. His dark storming eyes moved down to focus on their soft fullness, his slight jaw movement and the tension appearing in his face signalled he was contemplating kissing her but stopped himself. She wanted him to kiss her. Her whole body was screaming out for it, and she could feel both elevated heartbeats pounding erratically in unison.
She was so weak.
He let go of her, obviously reeling in his senses and realising this was dumb; he turned and walked off, leaving her alone amid the sea of bouncing bodies. The sagging of her insides and the jelly legs gave her no choice but to stagger to the nearest chair and sit down like suddenly being plunged into an icy bath.
She couldn’t think straight. She didn’t want to. Her body was still tingling, and her pulse was racing. She was still reeling and sizzling from the effect he had on her. She had known his touch instantly. Felt his familiar warmth, and she had let him take control of her body without hesitation. He could have done anything to her at that moment, and she would have let him. She was her own worst enemy when it came to him, and this only proved it.
Did she have no self-control or self-worth?
The message to his friends was loud and clear, and they didn’t try again. Even Damien, who had returned to join a non-contact dance, seemed to be keeping his distance. One of the burly men winked at her when he caught her looking towards where Rob was standing with his back to them; he had a beer in hand and was lost in conversation with some other man. Completely recovered and unfazed by what had just happened on the dance floor. He was again the picture of control and acting like Rose didn’t exist.
It upset her greatly, and she pushed it away, down towards the hard-wooden floor strewn with empty paper cups and streamers squashed flat by thumping feet.
Knowing he was nearby, in view, Morag’less, ready to save her at a moment’s notice, had made her feel better, despite the dancefloor moments. All the earlier agreements were forgotten temporarily. She couldn’t be mad about what he had done.
How could she when she had so wantonly reacted to him? She had hardly pushed him off, had she?
Pushing down the feelings of warning, she relaxed into enjoying her night. What was left of it, one eye always checking where he was. Aware and highly sensitive to his whereabouts.
* * *
Danced to death, exhausted and carrying their shoes, the girls staggered out of the hall in the small hours. The night had carried on uneventfully, and it was now moving into the early morning. Many partygoers had dwindled, leaving only the hardcore drinkers behind in the hall. Streamers were clinging to their hair and smelling strongly of the alcohol stench that was mainly coming from Abby. They were trying to work their way out to the main sweeping stair.
Her parents had left hours ago in a taxi back to their hotel, their age getting the better of them. On the other hand, Hamish had outdanced them all and was still in there, leading the remaining party animals to a Runrig song.
Despite swearing she wouldn’t drink more, Rose had ended up drinking a decent amount. Fueled by her high adrenaline, willingness to drown out the memory of Rob’s body against hers and her better mood, she was more than a little tipsy.
Morag had not even lowered the tone in her short brief appearances. She had another verbal tiff with Rob in a dark corner of the room, seemingly unimpressed with something he was or wasn’t doing and left in a blaze of drama just before one am. They had been too far away to hear anything said, but the heated expressions and arm waving made it clear that it was another ‘domestic’. She hated how Rob and Morag looked like a blazing couple having another lover's tiff. Hated how the woman monopolised his attention at every chance she got and felt she had the right to fight with him this way in public. It just highlighted why she had ended things and broke her heart.
Abby had one arm draped around her friend’s shoulders, obviously unable to walk without assistance, but Rose was bearing her weight. The girl kept falling over nothing and could no longer string a coherent sentence together.
‘I am putting you to bed, miss!’ Rose was struggling to keep her upright.
‘Jus aswerl I live in here then innit!’ Abby drunkenly slurred, gesturing towards a bathroom door off to the side.
‘You actually live up there!’ Rose pointed to the sweeping stair. ‘And I somehow have to get you up there.’ She glanced around for help, spotting Duncan asleep and propped by a door. He was in a far worse state than Abby and would be useless in assisting them. Rose half dragged her to the stair and attempted to climb. More of a two-up, three-backwards kind of motion, and she kept having to swoop lower to pull her back onto her shoulder every few seconds. Abby’s grip was as loose and uncoordinated as the girl herself.
‘Have I told yuhhh...? Really cos arrr mean it, babe... Have I told yurrr...? Rosy, I lurve you.’
‘I love you too Abby.’ Rose laughed again, finding them stepping back down two steps and making little progress. ‘I would love you more if you could walk, maybe climb stairs.’ Abby was a terrible drunk. Her tipsy mind finding the motion they were creating was not helping her own state.
‘Here. I’ve got her!’ Rob cut in from behind, lifting Abby easily up in his arms as though she were a mere child and heading up the stair with Rose in tow to the girl’s bedroom.
She helped him get the now unconscious girl up along the hall to Abby’s room and into bed, pulling off her shoes and jewellery in the darkened space, noting that he was swaying slightly even in the dimness. Not his usual full ‘compos mentos’ self either but hiding it well.
He was almost as drunk as Abby, yet being a seasoned pro meant he was still functioning in the land of the living. His strong form in the darkness and the mix of alcohol and aftershave made him seem more manly and sexual than normal. Rose had to move away from him, aware she was losing her resolve and the longing to touch him was killing her as he tended to his motionless sister, so gentle and caring as he tucked her into bed. He turned, satisfied that Abby was asleep and bumped into Rose behind him awkwardly as she tried to figure out where to stand.
His hands immediately went to her waist as he steadied her against him, but he didn’t release her. Instead, he pulled her forward, so their bodies met softly, her breasts against his torso; the heat from his body surging through the thin cotton of his dark shirt. She was too drunk for this and had no defences left to fight him off, not that she wanted to.
He walked forward, moving her back until the cool smooth wall of Abby’s room came up against her back unexpectedly, giving her no escape. His body pressed to hers and moved in closer to her face. The closeness and intimacy of his actions caused her breath to evade her. His hot hands on her body reminded her of how much she wanted his touch, his closeness and instead focused on his eyes and how they were devouring her.
‘Rob?’ There was no conviction in her breathy whisper. It sounded more like an invitation, sensing that he wasn’t going just to let her go anytime soon, her heart rate elevated, and her legs turned to jelly.
‘Tell me NO, and I’ll stop. I’ll let you go and walk away.’ He was breathing so close to her, his hands now on her naked thighs below her short dress, moving up under her dress slowly, erotically. He had decided this was not going to stay platonic or safe, and she was mesmerised by him, her mind racing and unable to focus on anything but the heat of those flat palms moving up under the hem of her dress and setting her skin alight.
‘You’re drunk. I’m drunk. This would be...’ She could not even formulate any form of rejection, her brain wildly clutching at straws as her eyes tore at his mouth, her mouth practically begging him to kiss her. She knew she was lost, and this resisting was futile. All night her body had been aching for him after the dancefloor, and now she was finally getting her heart’s desire.
‘Tell me you don’t want to, that you don’t miss me as much as I miss you!’ It was almost as though he was begging her to stop him, aware that he could no longer control himself. She couldn’t formulate a response, her mind a chaos of contradicting thoughts and emotions. She wanted him. Her body was on fire with desire and longing. His closeness blocked out any rational thought and the burning ache and hunger from the lack of his body against hers. The slow build of tension between them all day built to that very moment. His mouth was close enough almost to feel, his eyes locked with hers, full of lust and disregard for the consequences. Her mind still scrambled to be logical, to get some control of herself.
‘We’re in Abby’s room. She might see us.’ Was the only reason she could find to object, but it fell on deaf ears. He had given her enough opportunity to push him away, his lust taking over, assured by the fact she wanted this too. He lifted her against the wall, pressing against her so she stayed balanced while he pulled her legs around his waist slowly and surely, taking the time to stare deeply into her eyes. Her body was reacting like it always did when he was against her. Opening like a flower to envelop him in her warmth, surging heat emanating from her need. Giving into him, she arched her back, hands sliding along that jawline, her lips finding his mouth and hungrily plunging straight in. Crushing and purposeful, his desire and need made it almost animal as he responded to her instantly.
His hands moved under the thin fabric of her lace panties, looking for her, and she groaned as he found the source of his intent, falling against him weakly. Pleasure swept through every cell of her being and only pushed her to kiss him more vehemently, biting his lip and savouring the way he teased her tongue with his.
She was pulling his shirt open, the buttons coming away easily, her hand ravaging his shoulders and chest, cupping behind that strong, tanned neck to pull him closer. She was already close to orgasm, and he had barely touched her, heightened senses, the slow build to this moment and weeks of not being connected to his body. Moving closer, Rose drowned out her voice of reason easily, giving in to the extreme hunger within for him. Not wanting to listen to that inner voice anymore.
Pulling her from the wall, he walked into Abby’s bathroom in the darkness and kicked the door shut behind them. Within moments he had her on the floor, pulling off clothes, lost in fevered kisses, hands rambling over one another. It was not like anything they had done to each other before. There was an urgency and desperate need fueled by a burning desire and some crazed frenzy in what they were doing as though they could not deny it for another second.
It was hot, fast and crazy. Fueled by the clouded logic of alcohol. Lost in drunken abandon, feverishly turned on by each other and hell-bent on having their way, satisfying the all-encompassing hunger inside them and throwing caution to the wind.
She had never been taken by him this way, and she writhed around in ecstasy, forcing the inner voices and warnings out of her skull. Pushing down the doubts and submerging in the feeling of him all around her, within her. Begging him to push harder, faster, and he obliged. His hands found her wrists and pinned them above her head as they both climaxed in unison. It was so earth-shattering it was almost violent. She was more vocal than she could remember, and he matched her equally. All inhibitions were gone as they finally slumped together on the cold tiled floor, breathless and tingling yet buzzing with satisfaction.
Blissfully stilled and laid over her in her arms, his face resting on the nape of her neck, breathing hard and purposely. His heartbeat was pounding ecstatically through her own. Illuminated by moonlight and the coming of dawn.
‘I’m sorry Rose.’ His voice was gentle, regretful. He leaned over her on his arms, meeting her eyes, full of remorse and sadness. ‘I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have pushed you into this.’
‘You didn’t force me, Rob. I wanted this.’ Her face was flushed and hot, and his gaze alone affected her breathing. She knew that letting him go again would be even harder, so instead, she focused on the here and now rather than the later.
‘I didn’t give you much choice, though.’ He looked down at her mouth and gave out a small pained groan, breathlessly screwing up his brow. ‘I can’t do this!’ Genuine pain in his statement as he slid back and off her, leaving her feeling cold and suddenly shy about being naked on the floor. She sat up quickly, pulling her dress to cover what she could, looking up at him questioningly with wide eyes, fear lingering in the back of her throat.
‘Can’t do what?’ She asked quietly, nerves spreading through her stomach.
‘I can’t stay away from you. I can’t not touch you. You drive me crazy, Rose. I feel like I’m going slowly insane, and all I ever think about is you, like this. What it’s like to touch you. Kiss you. Make love to you. Over and over, every goddamn second, and I feel like I’m losing my mind... I need you... Losing you has been the second most awful thing ever to me, next to losing mum to cancer, and I can’t just keep on pretending that I’m not falling apart without you.’ His pained expression made her heart ache.
‘Rob...’ The emotion of his outburst had caused a lump in her chest and her throat. She felt the tears well inside, yet she could not formulate a sentence. He crumpled against her again, pulling her into him in a crushing agonising way. The force of his own emotions evident for once.
‘I love you so much. This is killing me. I feel like I have lost all control of everything, and only you can fix me.’ His voice was strained with emotion, pleading with her, begging. ‘Rose, give me another chance. Another go at fixing this, please? … I will do anything you ask... Whatever that is... I swear, I’ll do absolutely anything for you, baby.’ He pulled back to lock eyes with her again. Looking for the first time since she had known him like a lost soul. All evidence of the calm, controlled Munro gone. Just painful honesty and genuine fear that she might turn him down.
She couldn’t resist him. She didn’t have the strength to reject him. She did not want to; he had always had her heart, and she needed him just as badly. She could feel her cheeks wet with her tears, unaware they had started falling and closed her eyes to his touch as he began to brush them away tenderly, kissing her softly where he dried them from her skin.
‘I need time to take all of this in and think.’ She knew that wasn’t true, her body was screaming to stay joined with him, but nothing had changed in their situation, she knew she should be pushing him away, but she was clinging on.
‘When I left the cottage today, I had every intention of doing as you asked.’ He brought a hand up to her face and traced her lips softly. ‘But every time I see you, all rational thought disappears. I can’t think straight. The blinkers go on whenever you’re around, and I just want to be near you. I want to touch you, want to hear your voice and have you look at me. I just react... I can’t go on like this another day, Rose. I have never felt this way about anyone, and I’m dying without you. There has to be a chance for us. We fit perfectly.’
She leant up, kissing him gently on the mouth, untangling his hands from her hair and pulling them to her mouth so she could gently rub them against her lips once more. Softly stroking his skin against hers as her mind tried to calm the chaos and torment of being torn.
‘I am not going to lie. I have been going through hell too. I miss you so much that I can barely breathe most days. But nothing has changed. Morag is still swanning around acting like you’re her possession, and she doesn’t seem any more mentally stable.’ She looked up at him imploringly.
‘At least give me a chance to talk this through with you. Let me try and change things. Figure out where to go from here that involves you being with me and not apart, not sleeping in separate beds and acting like strangers in passing. I don’t want that with you anymore.’
She closed her eyes, knowing that all resolve had long since left her. She nodded gently. She would give him time to talk this through, time to listen to what he wanted to say and if he could change the way things had been. She felt his breath on her cheek as he moved in again, brushing his lips across her temple, feeling his body relax over her as he slowly pushed her back down to lay flat on the floor and nudged a knee between her legs.
‘Rob?’ She pulled away and caught his gaze. ‘We can’t stay here like this.’
‘I could stay this way forever!’ His voice was soft and full of meaning. Still focusing on her face, his fingers tracing her cheekbone.
‘We’re on your sister’s bathroom floor. It’s not even locked, and she’s ten feet away.’ She laughed lightly, suddenly wracked with guilt that they had done this with her unconscious in the next room. Rob swooped up towards the door, stretching out and flipped the cold steel latch over.
‘It is now!’ He grinned and planted a kiss back on her mouth. Firm and sure and acting like a reconciliation was a done deal in his head. She laughed, shaking her head and shifting under him, pushing him off so he understood this was not what it was. He rolled over, mock clutching his heart, feigned agony and ducking as she batted him with a hand towel that had fallen on the floor during their chaotic entrance.
‘Get up. I’m not talking here while you are naked on your sister’s floor.’ She scolded lightly and began pulling her scattered belongings together.
‘I meant it, Rose.’ His face was calm and serious as he watched her pulling on her clothes. ‘Us! I want that more than I want anything... I want to try again. I will do whatever it takes this time. I swear. Morag doesn’t get priority over you anymore, baby.’
Rose sighed heavily, knowing that the coming conversation was going to be hard, she had no idea how he expected to play this out, but she was willing. She missed him more than was bearable, and having sex again only cemented that she would never get over him.
‘We get out of here and go somewhere that Abby is not snoring six feet away from first. We talk. We figure this out...Okay?’ She glanced back at him, nodding at his trousers slew across the tub.
He nodded, a hopeful look on his face and pulled the rest of his discarded clothes up from the floor. He knew better than to argue when he was coming out on top.