Sneaking from the room and along the dark hall had felt like being naughty kids, sneaking out after dark. There were still people meandering in the gallery below, remnants of the partygoers and waiting staff picking up discarded glasses. He had her hand tucked neatly inside his, pulling her along in the shadows, a simple possessive gesture; his large form and strength made her feel small and fragile. She felt like a teen sneaking from her parent’s house with a rogue boyfriend, and it felt exciting and right, especially when that rogue man was six feet of pure sexy gorgeousness and smelled amazing.
The hall, open on one side to a huge balcony that overlooked the grand main entrance, was illuminating some of the ceiling and areas below, but here none of the lights had been put on, creating a dark passage to move unseen. They stuck to the wall in the shadows, hurrying along. Pulling her behind him, he opened a door at the end of the corridor and dragged her inside, both stifling giggles, still as drunk as they had been.
It felt different this time already. Everything had changed. Just the fact he was sneaking her around his house at a very public affair and not caring who caught them was in stark contrast to before. She could feel it in the atmosphere between them, in the way he was being. He looked younger, more carefree.
Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but she didn’t ponder to think about it.
The room was a beautiful opulent suite with a huge canopied bed and luxurious bedding in shades of creams and peaches. Obviously, this had been his mother’s influence, so much in Abby’s taste, only more mature and sophisticated.
Latching the lock on the door closed, he caught her and pulled her against the hard-wooden surface, planting his mouth firmly on hers, making it clear he wasn’t about to return to keeping his distance. Still, she resisted, pushing him away playfully and putting a warning finger at his lips with a stern look. He groaned, reaching for her again, but she skirted away out of reach and climbed on the bed with a head shake.
He took the hint and rested back against the door, watching her with a look of amusement on his face. Folding his arms across his wide chest
‘It’s like that, is it?’ He smiled lazily, his mood a lot better than in previous weeks.
‘We agreed to go elsewhere... To talk!’ She slid off her shoes, getting comfy against the overstuffed cushions and watched him shrug off the door and follow her to the bed. Kicking off his shoes too, he climbed up, laying beside her, his hand trailing across her lap to tangle in her fingers possessively. Despite trying to keep this ‘talk’ uncomplicated, she didn’t have the willpower to remove his hand.
‘I meant it. It’s not because I’m drunk, Rose...I got this drunk because of you... This insane ability you have makes me feel like I’m freefalling whenever you’re around, and I’ve lost all control...’ He looked up at her sheepishly, his eyes for once reflecting just how much he was missing her. ‘I want to try this again. I know things have to be different, and I want them to be. I was an idiot to make you feel like you did. I should never have treated you like a secret I was ashamed of. Every fight we had, I knew it was my fault, that I was losing you. So god damn stubborn, and sure I could do it a better way... One where we all walked away happy.’ He let go of her hand and instead slid his hands around her waist and tugged her closer, pulling her to lay beside him so he could hook her with his legs and nuzzle into her neck to breathe her in. ‘I miss you so god damn much.’ He sighed heavily.
She looked at him thoughtfully, so many objections rising about the situation that had not changed but willing to listen, unsure what else to do.
‘Go on.’ She said quietly, wanting to hear exactly how this would be different.
‘It won’t be the same, Rose. I’m not stupid to think I could ask you to do that again. To go backwards to a situation that was hurting you. I don’t want to. I’m not ashamed of us. The exact opposite. I want everyone to know you’re mine, that I’m the luckiest guy in the world and show you off. After tonight, I think it’s pretty obvious. I better make that clear so no more of my mates try it on. Honest to god, you attract every male eye in a fifty-mile radius.’ He lifted his chin from the hollow of her neck and glanced at her, a small glimmer of humour in his eye. ‘No more hiding, baby, no more acting like we don’t mean anything to one another. I love you, and I want everyone to know it.’
‘What about Morag? What do you intend to do about her, her illness?’ She was quietly taking all of this in, her face devoid of emotion and trying hard to give her brain some quiet to process it all.
‘I can’t let her dictate my life forever. It’s not going to be easy, but I can’t do this anymore; I kept putting her feelings before yours. I see that now, and I will never do that again. Losing you, Rose, was like a huge punch in the stomach. It’s the wake-up call I needed... I can live with her hating me, but I can’t live without you... I won‘t live without you.’ He laid on his back, pulling her hand onto his chest and gazed at the canopy overhead. ‘She’s not getting any better. She could be this way for the rest of my life; I’m not willing to hold my breath in the hopes she moves on and lose everything I want. Everything I need! I won’t risk losing you again.’
Rose silently watched him. Pulling together her thoughts, her brain in a whirlwind, afraid to commit just yet, afraid to say everything he wanted to hear, her heart was still fearful of being hurt by him again.
‘How do you think she will react?’ She instead responded, knowing she needed just to let this all sink in. It felt too right laid with him, his hands on her and cosily snuggled on a bed. She couldn’t lose sight of things. She needed to be rational and think about this properly, knowing that maybe he wouldn’t be quite so sure in the morning light when faced with a tearful Morag.
‘Badly. That’s what I’m worried about. She had tried before, in the past, to harm herself when I broke up with her a long time ago. There is always that fear hanging over me that this time she will succeed.’ He sighed and squeezed her fingers firmly, tugging her ever closer as though it was just not enough.
Rose did not answer but just slid down the bed further so she was at eye level with him and turned towards him, pulling his hand to her mouth and gently touching it against her lips, her usual mannerism when she needed his touch. He turned, meeting her gaze.
‘You didn’t give me an answer, Penelope!’ He gently kissed her fingertips on the back of his own hands. He knew he didn’t need one lying beside him, looking at him like that. He knew he had never lost her. And it only made him hate himself more, knowing that he had put her through hell, yet she could still look at him with open-eyed trust and devotion. She had no clue how just a look from her could change his whole day, his entire life.
‘I think I may run off with Damien instead. He’s far less complicated!’ She smiled wickedly and broke into howls as he quickly rolled on top of her, torturing her with tickles and threatening to break his face.
‘Damien could never keep up with you! You need a real man with a high sex drive and the patience of a saint, Penelope. Besides, I would never allow any other man to get near you that way. You’re mine, baby, from now until eternity.’ He buried his face in her neck again, feeling her hair on his skin and breathing her in. She jabbed him lightly in the stomach laughing at his gentle jerk reaction.
‘Why did you never tell him about us?’ Instead, he had ceased abusing her and was burying his face in her neck, trying to provoke a different kind of bed rolling.
‘Who?’ He didn’t raise his head. Trailing kisses across her throat and lower to the dress neckline, slowly pulling the thin material down, exposing more skin to devour.
‘Your best friend! Damien! You know the dude I only just met!’ Rose laughed and tugged her dress back in place. He just paused and looked up, smiling
‘Is this because he tried to seduce you on the dancefloor? Should I be worried and maybe actually break his neck right now?’ Rob moved back enough to lean up and gaze fully at her face. She raised her eyebrows and pulled her bodice up to cover the cleavage he exposed once more with that sneaky hand. A look of mock seriousness on her gentle face.
‘Okay. okay.’ He raised his palms in defence and flopped back on the cushions in mock defeat. Sighing heavily at being refused what he wanted to continue. His libido was always ready because she made him crazy hot pretty much all the time.
‘Damien and I are not so much the inseparable pair we used to be. Truth be told, I barely see him, and we barely call each other much anymore; we’re guys, and we just grew apart. Not just him. The whole group of us did. He moved away, and we lost touch! I see them a few times a year, and we get drunk and hang out.’ He shrugged. ‘After my mum died, I grew up much faster than they did. I had responsibilities to deal with, and he’s not someone I would tell anymore; I guess I tell my dad the things I used to tell my mates instead... And don’t think I let it slide about the dancefloor either, missy!’
‘Excuse me! I did nothing!’ She gently slapped him in the chest and rolled again towards him, getting comfy. His hand immediately came to play with her hair by her face. Looking at her intently.
‘Still wanted to break his nose, though. Then Gav’s and Mickey’s too.’ He nuzzled into her jawline, trailing small kisses along the length before coming to the corner of her mouth.
‘You seriously have a lot of aggression, don’t you? Always wanting to assault people physically.’ Rose turned to him, planting a quick, chaste kiss on the mouth, teasing her and moving away again to continue the conversation.
‘Only when it comes to other guys trying to touch you, I do.’ Once again, he leaned over her, his hand resting on her cheek. Staring at her silently, thoughtfully
‘I love you, Rose. More than anything in the world. More than life.’ His eyes were cool, calm and pale. His eyes were an eternal glimpse into his soul. She had learned over the weeks that this was when he was at his most unguarded, most sincere and honest. It was so unexpected amid their gentle banter that it caused an immediate lump in her throat, and tears pricked her eyes.
‘I love you too, Rob. If we do this again, it can’t be the same. I couldn’t go through that again. Don’t hurt me.’ She hadn’t meant to say all of that, but in a way, she wanted to tell him she was his, that she wanted him more than anything and was willing to let him try again. Another go at trying to fix this mess they had made; that she needed him just as much as he needed her, maybe more.
‘You’re my heart, baby. Hurting you is like stabbing myself in the chest. I won’t do that to us anymore. I swear.’
He swooped down, kissing her like he had done in the cottage earlier that day, except this time, instead of painful goodbye, it held far more meaning. Soft and full of longing and promise. No sexual innuendo behind it, just the desire to kiss away all the memories of her heartbreak. To be lost in her and to let her lose herself in him. It was a silent promise, wiping out all the pain of the last few weeks, that he wouldn’t let her go this time.