Morag’s breathy What the F response only enraged her more.
‘Who the hell do you think you are, tramp?’ Morag regained some aggression and was ready to square up to this new annoyance. From here, the stench of alcohol was enough to put hairs on even Rose’s chest. It was obvious Morag was more than a few bottles into a heavy drinking session. More alarmingly was that she probably drove here.
‘SHUT UP!’ Rose had stayed her sharp shrill voice with a palm millimetres from Morag’s face, startling her into a moment’s pause. All the built-up frustration, heartache, and agitation of weeks and weeks of sneaking around somehow came tumbling out in one moment.
‘Who the hell do you think you are talking to? She’s Rob’s sister! She’s Abby Munro! She lives in this house! … Who are you to disrespect her and Alice? Coming in here smashing things and raising your voice, huh? Demanding to know where Rob is?? He’s a grown-ass man with a business and a life of his own. He can do whatever he damn well wants without your permission, and everyone is completely sick to death of your behaviour; you’re not even his girlfriend, Morag!!’ Rose let loose, her temper spewing out and her mouth enjoying a moment of verbal diarrhoea.
Abby and Alice stood in stunned silence, their eyes large and fixed on Rose and Morag as though time had paused, mouths agog. The normally cheerful and smiling Rose breathing fire before them was enough of a surprise to bring an unearthly moment of silence... And then Morag’s voice broke
‘He’s my... We’re supposed to be working it out... I’m trying. I’m really trying, and he knows I love him. He loves me. I know he does.’ The tears fell like waterfalls from her face, and Rose immediately felt bad for the woman. The fire in her belly dowsing quickly when faced with genuine sadness and her seething anger simmering down at this pathetic demonstration. But like the flick of a switch, Morag seemed to get a hold of herself and snapped back into fierce anger. Rose found it hard to stay angry at this picture of genuine heartbreak, a moment of empathy cooling her down.
‘What the fucking hell do you know anyway? You don’t have a fucking clue what we are, so back off! It’s none of your fucking business, slag! You’re just his baby sister’s bestie and nothing but a fucking annoying presence wherever we go.’ Morag moved forward, raising her clenched fists to her chest. The anger and violence once again threatened to explode from the red-haired woman, and Rose recoiled slightly, suddenly unsure of this manic reaction, all her fire and fight gone and wasn’t as quick to return the way Morag’s had.
Abby sprang into immediate protector mode and screamed at Morag to leave her house.
‘Get out! ... Get out! ... Crazy bitch’ She was in Morag’s face, pushing Rose aside and pushing Morag back hastily. An instant reaction to defend Rose. The fiery nature of Abby only superseded Rose’s previous rage.
The next few seconds went by in a haze of chaos. Rose was unsure exactly how or what happened. The pushing twosome became a threesome of hands and grabbing. Hair tugging and confusion, and somehow, she was caught up in it. Her hair was grabbed and yanked hard so that she was pulled in against Morag’s slender frame and embroiled in a catfight that included Abby jumping on top of Morag.
They brawled in a heap on the floor, all legs and nails and screaming. Rose was slapped in the face so hard by Morag she saw stars before Abby managed to jump on her back and wrench a good amount of red curls out. Alice was trying to pull Abby away but soon felt the wrath of Morag as the older woman was smacked over the right breast with a flailing arm and dove in to join in.
Next thing Rose knew, boys were hauling them apart. Rose had seen red and was clawing and kicking at anything resembling Morag aggressively as she was drawn out of the fold.
Tommy was pulling his now animated, brawling wife to one side and trying to tame her unleashed beast. She was a fierce one, that little old lady. Morag was being half dragged, half escorted by two burly lads out the front door kicking and screaming back out of the house, and Duncan was holding Abby’s screeching fighting form around the waist. Her arms and legs flailed as she called unladylike curse names and insults after the red-haired woman.
Rose was helped to her feet by one of the returning boys, dazed from the smack in the face and a little unsteady, her hands shaking as she was ushered towards the kitchen behind Tommy and his wife. Rose had no clue who these boys were, they seemed vaguely familiar from the dance, but she recognised Duncan immediately.
‘Girls, sit.’ Alice commanded them and ushered the men out once they were in the kitchen. Adrenalin was still coursing through their veins. Duncan kissed Abby quickly and shyly, saying something in her ear before following his friends out. She watched him go with a smile on her face that looked a lot like Rose’s whenever Rob was close. She envied her for being able to be that way with Duncan freely.
‘Well, that was eventful. Thank God Duncan was popping by with my festival tickets.’ Abby burst out laughing and ignored Alice’s shake of the head. The woman turned and moved to put the kettle on and uncovered a plate of scones to bring to the table.
‘Tommy will be telling me off later. Hearing that commotion from the garden must have given him heart failure.’ Alice brought a tray of tea and cups with milk and sugar and laid them in the centre of the table.
Rose just sat, dazed by the encounter. She was completely torn about what had happened. She wondered what Rob would say about it and could not shake Morag from her mind.
‘Rob is going to be pissed.’ She said out loud without thought.
‘Don’t worry about it, Rose, ’ Abby smiled, catching the worried expression on the normally cheerful face. ‘It isn’t the first time and won’t be the last. She’s attacked Rob many a time. Slapped Alice here once before too, and she tried to go for me with a vase once, but Rob was quick and restrained her. If you’re worried he will be mad, then fear not. He will be mega pissed at Morag for this. Not us.’ Abby pulled over a cup and started making herself a sugary tea.
Alice pushed between them, lifting Rose’s fingers which were cradling her burning cheek and placed a small ice pack on her skin instead, moving her hand back against it to hold it in place with a warm smile and a pat on her shoulder.
‘Keep that on to stop it from bruising.’
‘Why does he put up with it?’ Rose was in disbelief at her statement, but Abby didn’t need to respond. Alice cut in instead, a sad look on her maternal face as she moved to a chair and slowly sank.
‘The girl has real troubles, Rose. I feel sorry for her, really... Her mum killed herself when she was still a young un. Much of the same illness that Morag seems to suffer and that no good filthy alcoholic father started abusing her.’ She looked down at her lap sadly. ‘Even as a kid, she was never quite right. Something was off about her emotionally, so when it came out a few years ago, she finally spoke up. Well... No one could blame her for being that way... He got five years for sexual abuse, it should have been more, but her testimony was weak. She was too emotional and afraid to tell them everything she should have.’ There was a glaze of emotion in Alice’s eye, and Rose could tell she had probably known the girl a little more than Rose first thought. Alice had been the housekeeper since Rob was a baby. It made sense that she had known Morag as long as Rob had, if not longer, in this tiny community.
‘And she ended up in the nut house for a year!’ Abby chimed in, seeming a tad smug about it.
‘Abby! It’s a psychiatric hospital. That’s not proper to call it that, and please take that look off your face. No one asks to be unwell in that way!’ Alice chided. The pair looked at each other with narrowed eyes. An obvious affection between the sparring pair despite her scolding.
‘So, she still has to go there then?’ Rose cut in as Abby made faces at Alice childishly, remembering Morag mentioned her appointments and therapy.
‘Yes, she sees a shr... Psychiatrist!’ Abby corrected herself, catching the glare from Alice across the table. ‘She has a list of things going on as long as her arm. Bipolar... Some personality, anxiety thing... Lack of one more likes!’ Abby mock grinned at Alice, who shook her head, fake bashing Abby on the head indulgently.
‘Yes, she still has to go, still has to check in every two weeks, and they monitor her medication.’ Alice seemed to know more than she let on, and she wondered if Rob confided in this dear woman or if this was simply an observation. A tug at her heart as he came to mind and another shiver of apprehension at how he would react. Rose pulled the pack off her face now the ice was starting to sting it.
‘When she takes it!’ Abby raised her eyebrows as she mumbled and took a sip of tea. Uttering something else under her breath and gaining a small slap on the hand from Alice. A look of warning before Alice pulled over two cups and made one for Rose and herself quickly, pushing the cup to Rose and tapping the ice pack with an authoritative look. Rose put it back on her face obediently.
‘Sadly, this morning, the behaviour is a sign she’s back to not taking her medications.’ Alice sighed genuine sadness on her face. ‘Poor Rob is the only one she ever listens to, ever leans on. He is the only one who has any time for her anymore. She stresses him, the poor sod, and all he can do is try and be there for her. He has always been a decent sort of boy, looking out for everyone else instead of his own needs, and she has no idea how much pressure she puts on him day after day. No wonder he sometimes takes a break from her.’
Rose felt the pride and pain hit equally. Torn badly.
‘Has she no one else? Family?’ Rose was beginning to see for the first time why Rob felt he needed to be delicate. Understood his personality enough to know he was the eternal caregiver and protector of people he felt responsible for. If Morag was as fragile as she seemed, then it was no wonder he was treating her with kid gloves in this way. He had never told her any of this, not that she had asked, but still. This was far worse than anything Rose could have figured out. ‘Not anymore. Those that didn’t walk away, she pushed away. Been a long time coming to that breakdown she had. Pushed every single soul away and just clung to him like he was a raft, her only lifeline. I could see he was struggling but never let her down, just pushing on and trying to help her find her feet again.’ Alice looked pensive. Abby restlessly moved in her chair and slid her mug across the table, cutting in.
‘No one can deal with her erratic behaviour. So, no one wants to know anymore. She’s reckless. Swings from purrs to scratches without warning. Drinks a lot of alcohol a lot of the time, despite it making her act like an arse. She likes to smash things and lash out but then cries for days. Makes him feel shitty for everything she does; she blames him. She holds it over him. Threatens suicide and breaks her heart in front of him, knowing he has no resistance to girls crying... She knows how to play him like a fucking violin.’ Abby started to look irritated, the subject beginning to piss her off. ’He’s why she even has a bloody job; our money keeps that museum open and her position permanent. She couldn’t run a mile, let alone a museum alone. He does more for that place than she’s capable of... Do you know that he started the exhibitions every month to bring newcomers in? The new displays, switching it up. He has enough to deal with, yet he also has to find the time to run over there and deal with stuff she should be doing for that place’ Abby pushed back in her chair angrily, hiding none of the contempt she had for the redhead.
‘And they’re not still... You know...Romantic?’ She knew she shouldn’t be prying like this, acting like she didn’t trust or believe him. She knew he had told her so many times, and doubting him was stupid, but she had to understand if there were any other motives, such as deep-rooted feelings that he would never admit to her. She had been afraid of that for weeks when trying to figure this out.
‘No. Not on his part. Not since she told him she was having his baby a few years back... They got engaged. He was going to make a go of it and do the right thing, typical Rob. They had been on and off for years, and we all knew he didn’t want to marry her. More off than on, but he always still tried to help her. Turned out to be nothing but a lie to make him marry her, and it all blew up in her face.’ Abby sighed, twisting her cup around in agitation.
Alice got up to clear the table and the worktops, knowing this part of the conversation was too personal for her liking. Abby, lost in thought, was still talking without hindrance.
‘Totally destroyed him, you know. Not just that the baby wasn’t real, but the lying, the pretence. The way that no matter what he had done for her over the years, she still could do that to him.’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t think he ever looked at her the same again, and she’s been trying ever since to make him love her, to get him back. Always hanging over him and pretending she’s still his girlfriend. I don’t think he even notices it anymore. He’s that used to it.’ She pushed her cup away, obviously irritating herself with fidgeting. ‘He told me he believes she would kill herself if he found someone else. She is that obsessed with him... He would never forgive himself if she did. He always feels responsible for how she’s as it is.’
Rose had no words, her head swirling with all of it. The complicated mess that it was. The way her heart felt like piercing hot needles were being pushed in all over its surface at the thought he had once felt something for that woman.
Had he ever really loved her? The way he told Rose he felt for her?
The thought that she had deeply hurt him and still he had this crazy duty to look after her, to be the rock in her life no matter what she did to him, made her heart ache.
Did he still have feelings for her?
The heaviness of the situation started a small tear in her heart, but the flood of information had ripped it wide open. This was why he could never open up and tell her the true extent of the issue. It was vast! This was not a situation that would just get better anytime soon. This was not something he could softly get her used to.
Morag was really ill. Seriously, long-term medicated sick and had a past that would destroy most people! She was far more dependent on him than even Rose thought possible, and they had this always, never-ending, waiting for the impossible thing. It was not going to get better any time soon. Morag was never going to get better. She was so in love with Rob that it clouded everything she did and felt. She was delusional and lost in make-believe that he was still hers.
How could that ever change in their situation? How could it when it was hanging on a thread dependent on this sick woman’s mental state?
Real mental health issues, a real diagnosis, something wrong, sickness. Someone who was properly not capable of being held accountable for her actions. The irrational mind and erratic behaviour. The agony she must go through every day. It made Rose feel sick to her stomach for the woman, and she barely knew her.
What must Rob, her friend, her ex-lover, feel when he looked at her?
He knew she was barely hanging on, and he was all that was keeping her afloat. This was not short-term. This was forever.
She couldn’t do this!
And the sudden heart-stopping realisation that she could not go on another second, knowing this was the reality, caused her to break inside like a shattered mirror. This was not the path to happily ever after. If he tore out Morag’s heart to be with her, it would forever follow them. If he delayed telling Morag the truth and they carried on this way, it would destroy them, as it already was. There was no getting around this undeniable truth. No solution involved Rob and Rose being together.