"N-No, I'm not. It was an accident! Let go of my hands!" I tried to wiggle out of his hold but it was impossible considering he was a lot bigger than me.
"An accident?" He scoffed. "Don't think I haven't noticed the things you've been doing lately. The way you act and the things you wear. I notice everything." He said, his voice dangerously low and menacing that it made a chill run down my spine.
I couldn't help but blush. It's true that I tried to seduce him. Getting a makeover and buying all those clothes was for that sole purpose.
How can I defend myself in this situation?
Cassian raised a brow. "No answer?"
"Please let my hands go," I whispered, not daring to meet his eyes.
"What were you planning to do, huh? Tempt my wolf until I lose control and fuck you? Is that what you wanted?" He glared at me.
"I just wanted you to acknowledge me, okay? I hate it when you call me a kid. I'm not a freaking kid. I wanted you to see that. I'm your mate for God's sake! Why can't you look at me that way?" I spouted out in the sudden rage that took over me.
"I can only look at Avery that way. Get it into your thick head," He frowned, almost growling.
"Liar. You're a liar. You're affected by me but you're trying to hide it." I glared at him.
"Wow, you are more delusional than I thought. I don't feel a single thing towards you other than pity. You're so pitiful." The way he spoke to me was so condescending that it made my hands clench.
"It's impossible for someone to not feel attraction towards their mate. Just stop lying." I don't know why I kept arguing with him. I should've stopped this conversation long ago. But I just can't let it go.
"It's impossible to feel attraction towards someone like you. You're not my type at all. I'd rather fuck someone else than an immature omega like you." He scoffed.
His words hurt. That's not something you'd want to hear from your mate. I felt my vision blur but I blinked continuously so he won't notice my tears. "Oh?" I gritted my teeth. "You don't feel anything, huh?" I managed to free my hand and push him away. He moved to the side and I took the chance to get on top of him
"What the hell are you doing?" He growled.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel attracted to me." I pushed on his shoulder to keep him still. "Why am I so repelling to you, huh? What's it that you hate so much about me?" The tears began to flow down my cheeks even though I tried my best not to cry.
I untied the robe and shrugged it down, letting it pool around my hips. Cassian watched my naked upper half with wide eyes.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" His voice came out so dark that I almost thought it was the actual devil who was talking to me.
I took his hand and placed it on my chest but it was balled into a fist. He was refusing to touch me. His gaze on me was so sharp that it took everything in me to hold my posture.
"Is it my body that you don't like?" I asked. "Or are you afraid to touch me because you're scared that you'll like it?"
Cassian sat up straight and in a second, his hand was on the back of my neck, gripping it and causing me to arch my back as his breath fanned my neck.
"It hurts," I breathed as he gripped me tight to keep me still.
"I knew you were a lowly rogue but I didn't think you could go this low. How desperate are you to get fucked that you start acting like a cheap slut? If you want it that much then we have plenty of unmated wolves in this pack. Try your dirty tricks with them. I'm not interested in cheap women." He spat out his venomous words before pushing me away. I fell onto the bed like a rag cloth.
The door to our room was shut with a slam. I clenched the sheets as I let the tears out.
Cheap slut? That's what he thinks of me? Wow….
What could hurt worse than your mate telling you to fuck someone else? Death?
I think death will be less painful…
A second chance. Why did I have to be a second chance? A second option that he doesn't even want. Does the Moon goddess hate me? Did I do something wrong?
This must be a sick joke. A joke just so she could laugh at my plight.
I hope she's having a great time enjoying this.
*****
Ruth let out a sigh of defeat as she lay down on the grass. "Alpha Cassian is more stubborn than I thought." She said, staring at the dark clouded sky above us. Looks like it's going to Rain. I love rain. I love the atmosphere before it's about to rain. It's weirdly comforting.
"I should've expected this. He's our alpha. I've seen how he is…." She continued while I stayed silent. "But I used to see him being so in love with his previous mate. He worshiped the ground she walked on. I can't believe he turned out like this…"
"He still loves Avery…. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I…I feel jealous. I can't help but envy her every time he talks about her. She's gone but she still owns his heart. She still has him so in love with her while I….. I can't even make him look at me with something other than disgust…"
Ruth sat up suddenly. "Jealousy…" She uttered, confusing the hell out of me.
"What?"
"Seduction didn't work so why don't we try to make him jealous?" She smirked.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "He told me to go fuck other men. Do you honestly think I could make him jealous?"
"Look, Ivy. He might have said stuff like that but you're his mate and he's an alpha. Alpha's are extremely possessive of what's theirs. You can force out that part of him. Trust me." Ruth told me enthusiastically.
I frowned. "I don't know…"
"Just try it. What do you have to lose?"
That's right. What do I have to lose?
"We can do it at the party. I have a perfect plan!"
"Party?" I frowned. "What party?"
Ruth paused. "The anniversary party of the Pack. It's the day after tomorrow. It's been four hundred and nine years since we've been established as a pack. You didn't know?"
"N-No…"
"Weird. You're our Luna. You should know about this stuff. I wonder why they didn't tell you this." Ruth frowned. "Anyways, let's carry out this plan then. Okay?"
I nodded even though I felt like running away from this place. "Okay…" I really feel left out.
"Luna! Luna!" The sound of a small girl calling my name snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked behind me to see a familiar face.
The girl was running towards me with a big smile. I met her whenever I went to see the farmers. She's the daughter of a farmer. Her name is Christy. She's very fond of me from the moment she saw me even though her parents didn't like the fact that she interacted with me so much.
"Look what I made for you!" She said while panting as she stood in front of me. In her hand was a flower crown made with daisies and baby breath flowers.
"Wow, how did you make this? You're so talented!"
"Our teacher taught us this in the omega class yesterday! I practiced a lot to make one for you. Do you like it?!" She gave me a bright smile while she explained. In this pack, there are special classes for every kid to take till they're sixteen. They're assigned by their gender. In these classes, they teach the kids about their gender and what comes with it. They identify and develop the skills of the kids. It's a pretty awesome thing.
"I do," I smiled. "It's so pretty. Can you put it on my head?"
"Of course!" Christy replied gleefully before putting the flower crown on my head.
"Wow, it made me ten times prettier,"
"You were already so pretty," Her laugh was refreshing to hear. I wish I was like her. Laughing without any worries. Such a pure soul.
"How is your mother?" Ruth suddenly asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked at her before looking back at Christy.
"Christy, dear. You can go play with other kids now. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I smiled.
"Will you come to my house? We can have a tea party. I've been inviting you for a long time but you never come," She pouted.
I cooed at her sulking face. "I'm sorry, dear. I got a little busy. I'll surely come soon."
She nodded with a small smile. "Goodbye, Luna. I'll see you later!" She waved as she ran away from us.
I turned back towards Ruth. "She's fine…. at least that's what she tells me. She always puts on a front whenever she's with me. Whenever I ask her about her condition, she brushes it off. She's so good at acting okay that sometimes it makes me wonder if her illness was my dream or something."
"I think she didn't want to worry you. You already have a lot going on…"
"She's my top priority. She's the only person I can call….my family…"
"Hey, don't say that. This pack is your family." Ruth told me while frowning.
"I know I'm your Luna…. but sometimes I just feel so alone."
"I understand. Having a mate like Alpha Cassian could make you feel like that but remember we're all here for you." Ruth smiled. "Come on, let's go see your mother." She stood up and pulled me to my feet.
"I was about to go to her." I smiled. "Did you read my mind?"
"I wish I had that ability." We laughed as we both walked towards the pack house.
*
*
*
"I am perfectly fine. I think I feel energetic more than ever." My mother laughed.
I gave her a look before sitting next to her. "Did you take your medicines?"
"Yes," She smiled. "Look, I completed two books in just four days. It's so fun to read. I should've read more books before."
I smiled. "That's okay. You can read them now. I'll get you every book you want to read."
My mother patted my head. "My kid is such a sweetheart." She laughed.
"Ruth, you're the one who changed my daughter from head to toe, right?"
Ruth laughed. "You could say that."
"You turned her into a goddess," My mother laughed. "She told me a lot about you. Thank you for taking care of her."
"It's nothing. She's my friend. That's what friends do."
"I'm glad she has you now. She never had a friend so someone as kind as you being her first friend warms my heart."
"Mom, that's enough…" I hid my face from embarrassment.
Ruth gave her a small smile. "She's a good person. It's nice to have a friend like her."
"Thank you…"